Emotional and social intelligence key to a great career

Summer is on the anvil. A not so pleasant feeling tickles your soul. As your stint in college, comes to a grinding halt, you begin to feel nostalgic. You wish it would never end so soon. The culmination of a journey here is the beginning of a new phase somewhere else. It can be your call to higher education pursuits, a corporate job or the urge to be an entrepreneur. An uncanny feeling haunts you about the people and relationships that you might encounter.

How will I be treated? “Will I find a place to voice my ideas? What would be the type of person I report to? Will my team be a friendly one to relate to?” Over and above all this,” Will I feel like waking up in the morning with a fresh start ready to whip up the challenges that confront me?” The answers to all these nagging questions rest only in ourselves. Let’s see how we can conquer our fears!

It was in this context that Daniel Goleman (1995), brought to the public’s attention the importance of our emotional lives. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to monitor one’s own and other’s feelings and emotions and use them as a guide to action. Knowing one’s emotions (self-awareness) and recognizing others emotions (empathy) is the key to be at peace and build healthy relationships. Research has shown that IQ alone explains little of achievement in work or in life.

A number of studies have shown that how well people handled their emotions, determined how much people around them preferred to deal with them. A good amount of self-assessment is required to understand you first. Talk to your mentors at college, ask for honest feedback from friends, parents, siblings and well-wishers and take a few scientifically tested personality tests after consultation with an expert to understand yourself better.

Self-awareness not only helps you analyse your strengths and weaknesses, but elevates you to another plane. It unravels your hidden strengths and opens up possibilities for growth and success. This will also protect you from false and manipulative expression of feelings. In venturing into new territories like your first assignment, understanding your own and other’s emotions will give you that ability to anticipate how one will feel in different situations and hence can lead to better decisions.

You will be able to understand that different kinds of moods, will lead to different kinds of works and forms of reasoning.. Self-awareness also involves having a realistic assessment of one’s abilities. People who have this strength are open to candid feedbacks from others and willing to learn from past experiences. They don’t shut themselves away from feedback and grow resentful towards the person giving the feedback. This increases self-confidence about your capabilities, values and goals.

Handling our emotions leads to self-regulation and prevents disruptive emotional outbursts. Such individuals were found to be more assertive and better able to handle stress. This will enable us to make a realistic assessment of set-backs, identify the reasons for it , persevere harder towards goals rather than falter and hold personal resentment. Empathy enables one to attune oneself with people from different walks of life- people of different groups, regardless of gender , race or nationality.

Handling emotions well in relationships will enable you to be comfortable in the presence of others, persuade , lead , negotiate and settle disputes for cooperation and teamwork. This leads to personal excellence and we develop our gifts to the fullest, achieving a harmony in how we think , feel and behave leading to productive relationships.

Understanding thoughts, feelings and behaviours of persons including self in interpersonal relationships is what constitutes social intelligence. Knowledge of oneself ( intrapersonal) and others ( interpersonal).This will determine your ability to get along with others. Social maturity and personal characteristics of the individual complete the picture of a holistic person. Emotional and Social intelligence complement each other.

Socially intelligent people are confident in social situations, demonstrate a genuine interest in others. They are able to express their feelings in a clear and assertive manner and understand social environments in which they have to operate. You will find personal –fulfilment, be self-motivated and motivate people around and above all manage stress. The end result will be a harmonious environment, where creativity flourishes and work becomes enjoyable.

A workplace devoid of healthy relationships will be suffocating. Gossip and slander will be replaced by mutual trust and companionship. The questions , which begin to nag you should now find some answers. The answer is within you. True to the powerful saying of Gandhiji –You must be the change you wish to see in the world , holds a lot of truth now. As the day breaks, you will jump out of bed looking forward to another fruitful day in the company of your colleagues. The final mantra is, seek to understand and be understood!

By:Agna Fernandez