How do I deal with my unfulfilled expectations

I often find that my expectations are unfulfilled and that leaves me dejected. How should I handle this?

Sadhguru: Do not create expectations. Then there will be no dejections. If you throw a stone up in the air, you should not be surprised when it lands on your head. That is how it works on this planet.

Do not waste your life in setting up expectations because these expectations are not even yours. You are setting expectations for yourself based on what the society around you is doing. Your expectations are not even yours! The human mind is such that if everyone had only one leg but you actually had two, you would also start hopping around on one leg because you will set up your expectations looking at people around you.

Essentially, this is happening because you are like a person who tries to drive a car without knowing anything about the vehicle. You will drive with so much fear and of course, there will be people dying on the street! If you want to drive a car, you must spend time learning to drive. It is the same with life. You must spend some time learning something about the two instruments – the body and mind – and the best way to use and operate them. Instead, you just jumped into life and as you create expectations, you get dejected!

People argue: “If I do not create expectations, why would I even do anything?” But that’s a faulty argument. All life – plants, animals, insects – they are doing something – whatever they can. That is all you can do too. If you are deeply involved with everything around you, you will do everything that you can do. What you cannot do, you will not do. That is how the whole existence functions and that is so with you too.

Once you realize this, your whole life will be focused on how to enhance your ability to do. You will not wastetime on silly expectations. Instead of wasting your time with silly expectations, spend your time to enable yourself because you can only do what you are capable of.

Your success in the physical world is determined by how effectively you can use your physical body and mind. Just work upon building your body and mind to enable yourself that you can use them to the fullest extent. We do not know how you will use it. What you do in this world should be relevant to the situation in which you exist. Action should always be about the situation, not about you. In a given situation, you simply do what is needed. That’s all there is. If you just get this one thing, there will be no expectation.

(Sadhguru is a Yogi, mystic, and Padma Vibhushan awardee, also known for his New York Times bestselling books. He founded Conscious Planet–Save Soil, the world’s largest people’s movement, impacting over 4 billion people)