Breaking the myth of the ‘perfect parent’: What kids really learn from working moms

For many years, the notion of the “ideal parent” has been depicted as having endless time, selflessness, and devoting themselves entirely to their offspring. Although the notion of the ideal parent appears comforting, it creates unachievable standards and guilt for working parents, especially for mothers. Contrary to what children believe when they interpret parental absence as deprivation, the children of working mothers gain much more than they lose. Parents who provide children with a sense of independence and lessons early on shape, equip, and prepare them to be resilient adults who thrive in life.

Independence through daily living

Working mothers’ children learn independence earlier than their peers. They gain small responsibilities and develop routines that promote decision-making. Their participation in these daily activities, while fairly mundane, creates a sense of accountability and ownership, and prepares them for adult life.

Respect for work and labour

Lavishing time and energy towards the balance of work-life results in children who value work as an important component of a fulfilled life rather than a mere obligation. They observe the connection between cumulative effort and achievement, and they see ambition pursued animatedly even when it is not the simplistic notion of ambition. Therefore, children learn that hard work is worthy, respect gender perspectives, and contribute to the understanding of success.

Redefining gender roles

The presence of the working mother serves to upend perceptions of traditional stereotypical roles. The working mother is a living, breathing document that demonstrates that care and career are not mutually exclusive. While in day-to-day living, children value equality, fairness, and understand that desire, care, empathy, and ambition are not understood or defined differently for boys and girls.

Emotional Resilience and Connection

While mothers may feel concerned if they miss a moment, children often discover something deeper—that love is depicted not by every moment spent together, but by significant and meaningful connections shared. An important bedtime story, a family conversation at the dinner table, or an outing on the weekend, may be emotionally significant moments spent together even if the total isn’t close to hours of passive time. A parent working is time spent in the presence of each other that is emotionally significant.

Balance rather than perfection

Perhaps the greatest lesson children learn from working mothers is balance rather than perfection. Experiencing/doing moms FACILITATING WORK/STUFF while scheduling meetings, deadlines, and family needs will teach kids that life is about priority and compromise. Kids will take away a real decision-making approach to life and an ability to juggle several roles.

The lioness lesson

Perhaps the most powerful reminder that parenting is not about constant presence but about meaningful preparation comes from nature itself. Watching a lioness with her cubs in the wild, one sees that she does not hover endlessly. She steps away, hunts, and works—knowing her cub will sometimes have to wait, wander, or even stumble. But she returns with quiet authority, showing the cub that strength is not in shielding but in preparing. Her poise, her unapologetic stride, her ability to balance nurture with necessity mirror the modern working mother. Children, like cubs, learn resilience not when they are constantly held, but when they are lovingly trusted to stand, explore, and grow on their own.

Refreshing the conversation

Thankful, content is shifting from “the perfect parent” to their opposites- what kids learn from working mothers. The narrative is shifting to what their kids learn rather than noting the absence. What do children gain from mothers who work? People’s perspectives begin to appreciate the lessons from mothers who work towards emotional resilience, while illustrating calmer lives- while securing care, independence, and empathy.

Archana Khosla Burman, simply states it best: “Children don’t need a ‘perfect parent,’ they need a real one; when children see their mothers working hard, striving, and nurturing, they are learning life doesn’t have one sided balance but rather resilience, balance, and authenticity.”

The true takeaway

The myth of perfect parenting has long overshadowed the realities of contemporary motherhood. In reality, children raised by working mothers are not being deprived—they are being equipped. Like the lioness, these mothers show that love is not about never leaving; it is about always returning, guiding, and preparing. By valuing authenticity over perfection and sharing their foibles and vulnerabilities, working mothers are raising a generation who know what it means to be balanced, resilient, and ready to walk their own paths.

Archana Khosla Burman

Founder – VERTICES PARTNERS | ZONE

TEDx Speaker | 40 under 40 Awardee

FLO National Co-Chair, Startup Cell (2025–26)

FLO National Head – Collaborations (2024–25)

Chairperson, FLO Mumbai (2023–24)