The challenges of parenting today's children

Myriad of parenting styles have been in vogue in the present day society of India. One parenting style not only enforces the rules and dole out the consequences; but also scrutinizes the child's feelings; and it's called 'authoritative parenting'. However, it engraves the rules and imposes the consequences without any due regard of child's aspiration.

In 'permissive parenting', parents are quite indulgent towards their children; meanwhile in uninvolved parenting, they are quite apathetic towards child's aspirations.

Of late, we hear of 'helicopter parenting' where they hover around every aspect of their child's life. Here, the parents cater to heaps of child's cores, even when the child is competent in doing them, independently.

In few cases, there may even be a dissension of parenting styles, adopted by two parents of a child. For instance, one parent might be cling to permissive style, while other of the same child may adhere to an authoritarian style. In such a scenario of lack of unison of parenting styles between two parents, the child's life is bound to become enigmatic.

These parentings styles display their own merits and demerits; but these aren't in the purview of discussion. Henceforth, I prefer to underscore on the 'role of parenting'; and its impact on a child's life.

A child, born in a family, is a conglomerate of many influences viz. genetical, social and environmental. No one can engineer the genetical determinants. In a child, they are innate. Hence, the real venture lies in dealing with the social and environmental influences on a child.

An assemblage of core values which are profoundly engraved in a child, are actually the reflections of social and environmental set-ups where a child had been reared and nurtured. Undeniably, the chief among these influences were the family and the school. All the values, belief systems, and the mannerisms which are portrayed by the parents under the vicissitudes of life, were ingeniously reflected in the child.

Hence a child is nothing but a pure replica of his or her parents. In most of the cases, a boy mimics his father; mean while a girl tilts to her mother. Thus, it is paradoxical on the part of parents to except their child to be an orbit of righteousness, when they themselves

Wean away from it. How could any parent reprimand his or her child of using, for example, a slanderous language, when himself or herself wasn't extricated from it? Let's take another example of a father, whose role in desisting his child, from a substance abuse, would become quite unassuming, when he himself can't set as a role model for his child.

Interestingly, the parents appear as if they were quite invincible when they cater to all the exigencies of their children, food, schooling, sports, and so on were gladly met for the children. But, why can't you as a parent, envisage that your child is yearning to spend 'qualitative time' with you? It is a paramount gift which can be ever bestowed on a child, by parents. You as a parent just imagine the situation , where you get, vivaciously involved, in your child's chores, then your child experiences unfathomable joy and ecstasy! besides, it can weave a more rapport between you and your child, and has the potential to drift away from mobile and television addictions. In many family setups, today, we can see where a child shouldn't wean away from parents' dreams, aspirations, and avocations. The child is also bombarded with magnitude of restrictions in order to confine his or her mobility. In any case of non - compliance of the child with the impositions of the parents, child is branded as Problematic, any trace of defiant behaviour of the child is severely detested by parents. No doubt all these can enhance the stress in the families where the parents reckon their children as real treasures!

Instead of settling for a showdown with a child, its more feasible for a parent to recognize the area of par excellence in a child. Who knows that a Beethoven, a Tendulkar, a Edison may be there in a child? Don't settle for anything lesser , just discern the area of interest of your child , deliberate on it, and set a goal basing on that interest, and kindle the passion to effectuate that goal; he can do wonders! a mutual exchange of thoughts and beliefs between you and your child means that your carving out the fine tuning of a child's mind set and in the process it would also sculpt your child's self-regulation skills which are imperative for child's cognition and development.

Never get disheartened by the impulsive behaviour of your child, for they are common at that age. Empathise with your child's emotions.

Children crave to be cherished and recognised as they are in the present form. Any over parenting of the pampering type, and the restrictive parenting are wonderfully wrong, for they supplant the very gist of parenting. It shouldn't be simply a mindful or a watchful parenting, but a heartful one is indispensable to raise a child who is resilient and emotionally balanced, and a child who can become self-reliant.

Undeniably, dealing with a child has become a formidable task; this is awfully so in the present-day nuclear setups. However under the hegemony of joint families in the past, the children used to bloomed their life with a sense of purpose and direction, under the tutelage of their grandparents.

Just perceive this changing roles of dynamics of family setup; think out of box in dealing with your child, and design more ingenious methods to sculpt your child's life. You should remember that whatever you deduce about your child, and brand him as, is nothing but a pure reflection of the inner you.