Highs, Lows and the In-betweens

A world exists beyond our own, with more colour, vibrancy and intensity. Darker than the darkest blacks and brighter than the brightest whites, drugs are an alluring gateway into that beyond. A sensory stimulus with explosive results varying from the most blissful to the devastatingly horrid, it's an enigma that entices, ensnares, enlightens and/or eviscerates life and oneself.

Horrors of drugs and the human price it demands is a thoroughly chewed out, constantly publicised theme in our social discourse. For a change let's put the drama aside to dwell into the lives that have been touched by drugs in the tiniest to the most profound of ways.

Late one Sunday evening, Anjali stands in her penthouse balcony and stares out into the darkness of the night as she reminisces. Her first year away from home, in a prestigious college with heavy course load, bland food in the canteen and constant drumming from the seniors was a struggle. It had all ended.

She was in the corner of the dance floor waiting for the right moment to join in when she smelled a distinct odour. When she traced the source, she got her first glimpse of a weed session. A group of people, men and women, juniors and seniors were sharing a couple of joints, gibbering away as if they were long lost buddies having a re-union. Someone noticed her staring and offered her to join them. She hesitated but she had still not broken out of, “Don’t ever say no to seniors if you want to have a smooth first year.”

“The food here is just OK, have a few drags of this and it will turn the food exquisite.” This was her introduction to marijuana. Her experience with alcohol was disorienting and physically taxing, weed on the other hand was a rush, the world spun but not too violently, her thoughts were streamlined and finer, the conversations more insightful and the food tasted like nothing she had ever tasted.

Most of her evenings in college from that day forward were spent in smoke and constant highs. She experimented with other hard drugs which caused intense reactions, some good some bad but weed had been her faithful companion.

She has completely quit hard drugs now. But then the memories and experiences would forever be engrained into her soul. She takes a deep drag, holds it in, exhales smoke as it starts to burn her insides and passes it into the waiting hands of her husband. The rare blunt is now her last carnal link to that past life.

Mahesh had always been loud, constantly getting himself into trouble and constantly over compensating for his lack of coolness. He got into smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol to fit in with the cool kids at school. As cigarettes and alcohol became a commonplace the cool crowd escalated to doing drugs and Mahesh was more than enthusiastic to up his game to get in with the exclusive crowd.

One of the kids from his friends had gotten friendly with a Nigerian, who lived by his house and gotten his handson cocaine. The plan was to have a cocaine session on the next birthday bash in the group. His friend made a great selling pitch, proclaiming the amazing wonders of cocaine.

A glamour drug like cocaine was an ego boost, the feeling of invulnerability and superiority it created especially for someone like Mahesh was addictive. The half hour of euphoria and boost in confidence to levels of over confidence made any price and sacrifice justified. Before he knew it, he was doing multiple lines of cocaine every day. His appetite was shot; he was always edgy and driven exclusively by the next score.

Cocaine defined his life; every action he took was to get his next hit. He began to steal from friends, family, from school and home. He was caught shoplifting an expensive watch and managed to escape scott-free by his bare teeth by his incessant begging, amazing crying and shopkeeper’s generosity.

Peddling cocaine seemed like the logical next step to his drug addled brain. This way he would never have to worry about finances to get his next score and on the side he would always have stockpiles for his use. By the time he was in his graduate college he was supplying cocaine to over a hundred people. He barely ate, barely functioned, relationships and friendships lost meaning and became a means to make money and the only way he could get sleep was to top of the cocaine with pegs of whiskey.

Harish is a perfect specimen of what he refers to as functional druggie. He is a white collar professional working in a stressful, big risk, high reward profession with unrealistic expectations and demanding work hours. He had a long history with drug use. He can’t even remember when he got his first out of body experience. He had so many now.

All the vacation trips to places of scenic beauty surreal and captivating made more so through psychedelics. Mushrooms or as the lingo goes “Shrooms” were his go to psychedelic but he now make does with LSD (Lysergic acid diethylamide) in off seasons. One “Bad Trip” with Shrooms, picked in the wrong season and spiked to compensate was enough to make him a lot more careful about his acquisitions.

The visual and spatial sensations, the dream like state where you float into the trees, grass, oceans, rives, fly over mountains and into gorges, the sense of freedom was like liberating the soul from the body. It was exactly what he needed to counter his reality, stuck in an office, in the same drab colours with monochromatic colours.

Ecstasy didn’t catch his fancy till he found himself in a music concert while on it. The surge in energy his body felt, attuned with the music and in sync with the world, the dancing lights, the audio stimulus and the way he perceived the nuisances and beauty each note was unlike any he had ever experienced.

The appreciation for the fine things in life, music, nature, beauty and life itself was only apparent to him on MDMA (Methylenedioxymethamphetamine). These hiatuses, sessions or trips kept him fueled, motivated and driven to function, to live life to the fullest, explore and challenge himself to do more and see more. He felt complete.

He was closing a highly lucrative deal this week so the next session date is set, location locked down, invites e-mailed, products acquired and cached. He plans on doing the double candy this time around. The concert and after party is going to help him blow some steam off.

A seedy darkness lurks in the shadows of the night, under the flyover, by the street corners, on the pavements and in rundown desolate slums.Everyday objects with constructive purposes, easily accessible and available have been repurposed for dangerous and often lethal drug alternatives. Nail polish remover, paint thinner, whitener liquids, glue, etc, are some of the most notorious culprits. The street urchins, rag pickers all across India are particularly addicted to these.

Raju is one of the hundreds and thousands living on the streets in the city. He begs on the street signals, collects plastic, metal and bottles to recycle from trash dumps and scrounges for food outside restaurants. He does drugs to escape the drudgery of life; it’s an escape for him for the pain and sorrow he feels.

He does hashish when he gets his hands on it, most often even that is spiked but he prefers whitener. The high is fast and long. The addiction potential and bodily harm caused by these chemicals and sheer number of victims is insurmountable. This is an often unnoticed or neglected aspect to the drug abuse which is more challenging to target and low on the list of priorities.

These are all but a small slice in the greater pie of people who have a story to tell whether about their first tryst, their continued companionship and their struggles with or without drugs. In closing we all agree that drug issues are a sensitive topic that require care attention, education, resources, therapy and patience but often is greeted with punishment, prejudice, ignorance and intolerance.

(Some details have been altered or swapped to protect the identity and privacy of the individuals who let us into their lives.)

By: Shirish Kumar