Dowry deaths a nightmare

“women beaten to death for dowry, burnt to death for dowry, women committing suicide by hanging herself to ceiling fan in her house over alleged dowry harassment by husband and in-laws, cops take body off pyre to probe death by her husband after harassing her for dowry”. Dowry deaths continue to abate silently inspite of stringent laws and campaigns against dowry.

Nightmare. This is how it all begins. Closed door transactions and hurriedly made promises, later when the last vestige of colour has been wiped off the harassed face of the girl’s father, the wedding of this daughter comes through. Failing to take cognizance of his meager means, the father has sown the seed of disaster.

Stardust in her dreamy eyes, the young bride is totally shattered at the volte-face of her once doting in-laws. Incessant demands and a voracious appetite for more is not met with by the girl’s family of modest means. This failure weaves a potent spell of malevolence and the young bride is catapulted into a world of nightmarish existence where agony continues with a maddening iteration. Burning antagonism gives way to an all consuming monomania, the flames of which engulf the hapless daughter-in-law; a charred body and a dead soul, lying in a hospital with her world covered with darkness, she is yet another victim of a social institution of dowry.

Yes, one of the most frightening and frustrating phenomenon in recent times has been increasingly frequent acts of social terrorism, with innocent young brides held hostage and sacrificed brutally for the so called social custom of dowry. The monster has spread its tentacles through all strata of society and even the affluent and educated fall prey to this evil. In a country which has paid homage to the female form for centuries, heinous crimes are committed against women in broad day light – female foeticide, child marriages, to name a few—and the gurus of the society stand tongue-tied ! Prejudice is so deeply ingrained in the Indian psyche that even a mother herself, voluntarily, rejects a daughter. This evil of prejudice against the female sex, a tragic legacy of superstitious society, cause a permanent cognitive dissonance in the fertile minds of young girls who then silently bow down in acceptance of their secondary existence. Illusory correlation with the characters of virtuous wives in the tales of Indian mythology cause the exploited young women to turn a blind eye to such gross and overt discrimination. Rampant illiteracy especially, in the rural sector contributes its lot to the pitiful lack of awareness amongst out women folk.

Understanding the dominant aspects of each of these can yield useful insights into the nature of the constraints the society imposes on a family bless ( ? ) with a daughter. Assiduously cultivated, these practices find a vehemently unctuous opposition when negated or trodden upon. The average man therefore chooses to follow the path of security rather than face social ostracism, however subtle it might be. Electronic media present heart rending reports on bride burning and dowry deaths almost every alternative day and yet, it fails to bring about a social awakening and the brutalistics rituals continue unabated.

Where does the solution lie? Most certainly in the hands of young women themselves. Sheathed in the armour of education and self-confidence, and with the law on their side, women’s organizations for their suffering sisters. Here too, there is a hitch; the problem is one of access. The women’s organizations have no locus standi and are denied access when the victim needs tangible support. Does even the judiciary concede the organization’s right to intervene? Documentated cases come up with a discouraging answer and, without proper channeling; the law with its numerous loopholes can be made to walk a tight rope. The family often chooses to remain silent, so, if women organizations don’t intervene, who will?

On the other hand, few uncomfortable questions also come to mind : is it mere happenstance that the mother-in-laws always painted the villain of the piece? Mothers who reject a female child and who inculcate obsolete ideas in their daughters are also females themselves. The daughter-in-law does not very often disagree with the father-in-law ! In actuality, women themselves need to intr4ospect, with no diluting of the facts, concerning their own role in this tragic scenario. They must stand up not only for themselves but for other women too.

Nightmare. Will it end? Women have had to confront pronounced negative gender stereotyping and overt discriminations in all spheres of life. Happily though, such practices are decreasing and there has been at least some shift towards more egalitarian sex-role attitudes and a joint Endeavour on all fronts is required to take the message to all corners of our land; sometimes, the best form of help you can give is firm, hard push!

By Javvadi Lakshmana Rao