As human beings we are conditioned to relegate what we know into the shadowy recesses of the mind. What lurks in the shadows, we usually fear. By summoning courage, we are able to face the shadows, which are only projections of our fear. Our greatest fear is that of death. Death can be physical, as in the body dying, or it can be symbolic, as in the ego being exposed as the illusion it is. By facing our greatest fear with courage, it becomes our fierce ally with our Protector, similar to the darkest shadow that eventually reveals its innate light.
As long as we are still identified with body and mind, we will always crave approval and security. Once you begin to focus on your need, your fear of asking for it and the fear of taking the courage to go after it, will inevitably arise. At some point, your fear of losing someone’s approval, or your fear of losing your security will also arise. For the psyche to heal, these fears have to be felt and addressed.
Fear is a manifestation of doubt. It is an acute lack of trust in the universe and thus in yourself. Once we come to understand that all the unpleasant experiences we manifest are simply mirrors of all our past deeds, we can shift our attitude from one of blame and helpless victimhood to one of a responsible human being.
In my own life, as an American, I have been conditioned to be self-reliant, which also affected my approach to spirituality. Something deep inside me knew, however that it was time to ask for help from a mature human being, who could give me a direct experience of That.
When I was fortunate enough to meet my own master, who asked me specifically what I need, the answer sprang up naturally, ‘Love’. Tears came into my eyes, and I laughed and cried looking into my master’s eyes.
Eyes which held no expectations or judgement; only love. The same eyes that, over the next five years, would help to release me from lifetimes of karma and, most importantly, the vestiges of unconscious fear.
You may not get what you want the first time you ask for it, but eventually you will if you persist in exploring your fear. Trust yourself. Trust the universe. Once your desires are manifested enough times, you will finally learn that nothing is outside of you.
Until this becomes your direct experience, however, feel your need and feel your fear of asking for your need. Feel your vulnerability, which is only your heart calling out and feeling what is so. It is actually what makes you so beautiful as a human being and, paradoxically, is your greatest strength.
Paula Laxmi Horan