Affirming better relationships

The physical world is, to a large extent, revealed to us in accordance with how we believe that it will be. This is particularly true in our relationships. Our thinking is not done in the physical world; it is done in the powerful astral world. Most of the time, most people think about the way things are, and form judgments about it.

To some degree, thinking about what has already manifested is a waste of the immense power that our astral bodies have. The astral field is where things are created as thoughts first, before they spill over into the ‘reality’ of the physical world.

If we are having problems in our relationships, particularly if they are significant or heated issues, then it is quite difficult for most people to refrain from thinking about it. We actually get caught in an astral thought loop through which it can become difficult to think of anything else!

For those who have spiritual training in mental purification and discipline, there is another option. Instead of thinking about what is (particularly if we do not like it) we start the creative wheels in motion by thinking of what ‘could be.’
Sometimes people say to me: is it not avoiding reality to train your mind to think of what you want instead of about what is happening to you? My response is: I am not asking you to lose touch with reality. I am not asking that you become ungrounded and delusional.

One must be aware of the physical dimension of our life. However, one has the capacity to be a creator being. When we use our minds as mere sense organs, just giving us stimuli as to what is going on in our world, we miss the whole point of having a mind in the first place. The point of a mind is that it is an instrument of action and creation. As well as being able to help keep you in touch with your physical surroundings, the mind can be employed to create new circumstances.

The things that we are programmed to think and expect may or may not support us in having a really great relationship. One simple tool that can be surprisingly helpful to change this is the use of affirmation.

A well-designed affirmation is one that directly addresses the root cause of our lack or perceived inadequacy. A good affirmation is “I have a fabulous relationship that gets better every week”. If you are someone who often thinks that they are not as good as other people, then a better affirmation might be “I am worthy of a fabulous relationship that gets better every week”. Putting the concept of worth in there not only deals with the outcome you want, which is a fabulous relationship, it also deals with the problem that may well underlie your lack of relationship: the thought that you don’t deserve it.

It should be remembered that we are thinking thoughts constantly. There is no point diligently repeating our affirmations for 10 minutes per day, if for the other 23 hours and 50 minutes, we are thinking thoughts that are our old pattern. This cancels out our 10 minutes of practice and throws us way back into our old life experience.

If you use a really good affirmation often enough, it starts to play by itself in your head. You will just be thinking of nothing in particular and suddenly in your head is the thought, “I am so loved, valued and appreciated”. This is exciting! It means your mind is beginning to act like an instrument of creation instead of a bolting horse or instrument of destruction.

- Shakti Durga