Discover yourself when in the middle of nowhere!

Midlife-crisis is a real-life situation that hits a person in the age-group of thirty five and forty five. It can be regarded as a demon within that smirks gleefully as we stand gazing at the twentieth strand of white hair that has sprouted out of nowhere!

For women the mid-life crisis is linked to menopause and its related ramifications like stress, depression, lack of confidence, boredom etc. Many women might begin wondering if their husbands still find them attractive! In men the more serious affects might be cushioned by their stronger immune system! The taste of worldly desires might become more important than family and children.

Chetna Singh is a successful marketing executive in a private company. She is married andhas two grown up children. She and her husband earn well, and she has become a role model for many of her juniors. Yet, Chetna feels there is something lacking in her life. She says, “I don’t know why but often, I feel stressed up and panic over small issues.

I even joined a course of Art of Living, but, that did not help me for long. I set targets and when I fail to achieve them, I start worrying. I am forty-two and feel that time is running out! On my friend’s advice I am reading lot of books on Positive Thinking.” Similar story seems to be following in the life of Kiran Rao, a teacher in a Public school, “Well, it is logical to feel a little funny at this stage of life.

Childhood, student life and youth had their aims and dreams. We all had certain targets and plans for future. But once you have achieved all of those, you have nothing much to look forward to. I guess it is just a case of ‘the journey is more beautiful than the actual destination.’ After this after- thought I have taken up a few hobbies to keep my life interesting and meaningful.”

It is interesting to note that both the women understand their problem and are trying to find solutions to their dilemma. This situation comes in everybody’s life and is called as the ‘Mid-life Crisis’. Until a few years ago, this stage of life was not even recognised! Psychologists and experts feel that Mid-life crisis is certainly no situation to panic. It comes in the natural course of time.

In some individuals it does not create any serious problems except probably an occasional depression or irritation. But in some individuals, it might mean harping over negative feelings, many times, looking for romance outside of their marriage, becoming too materialistic, behaving irrationally or unreasonably.

Vichitra Anand, a Hyderabad-based counsellor says, “One factor that adds to mid-life crisis is the conflicting demands made by aged and ailing parents on one hand and children on the threshold of a career. The individual who is already bogged down by demands of career and personal relationships as well as suffering from self-doubt due to appearance of wrinkles, pot-belly and grey hair, finds it difficult to deal with so much at the same time!”

What can you do?
It would be advisable to look at life with a little bit of humour and do not forget to count your blessings! Don’t make unreasonable demands on yourself or others. Pick up a few healthy hobbies if possible or take up a social cause. Your health might need more of your attention during this time and it would be nice to pick up a sport of your choice like tennis or badminton at a local club near-by.

Joining Yoga classes or a Gym or going for long walks in the evenings is also a good idea. Try to have friends possibly of your own age group to discuss similar feelings and thoughts. Maintain your balance mentally, physically and emotionally. Cultivate understanding with your spouse and do not be too critical of others. A cheerful attitude towards things helps a lot. Positive people attract positive energy, Experts advise.

No doubt this psychological turning point has its origin in physiological and biological changes manifesting themselves within our body. The slowing down of bodily reactions due to hormonal secretions triggers off various new emotions, feelings and transformations. Mid-life crisis is an important stage in life that needs to be handled with care.

On a more positive note it is time for maturing. It is time to reach out to people, to slow down, to be kind, to comfort and to console. Do try to keep cheerful, smile more often and take things lightly. Distance yourself from negative emotions and make your world beautiful! Mid-life can actually be very liberating and enjoyable with a positive attitude!

By: Shaili Dhagat