How to mend a broken heart?
Let yourself feel the stages of heartbreak- Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance- not act upon them-and then allow yourself to...
Let yourself feel the stages of heartbreak- Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance- not act upon them-and then allow yourself to progress
Heartbreak hurts, and there's no denying it. It rips us open to the core, overwhelming us with powerful emotions � loss, despair, panic, shame, hopelessness � that seem all out of proportion to the actual event. According to Dr Janet Reibstein, professor of psychology at Exeter University and author of The Best Kept Secret: Men and Women's Stories of Lasting Love, the reason breaking up can be so painful is due to deep seated attachment, specially who've been together for a long time.
Can a broken heart actually damage your health? There is some evidence that heartbreak can do more than dent your ego. However, broken heart syndrome � where part of the heart enlarges and the sufferer may think they are having a heart attack � is rare. It is thought to be caused by extreme emotional distress and is unlike usual heart attacks because it occurs in people where there have been no previous heart-related illnesses. When it comes to mental health, breaking up can certainly have a bad effect on your wellbeing, which in turn will have a wider negative effect on your health. If you want to heal a broken heart the first thing you must do is understand what causes your heart to feel whole and the nature of the wound. You must understand what causes your heart to feel the way it does when you are in love.
- First thing in the morning, look into the mirror and force yourself to smile. A bright smile can self-start your low engines.
- Meet up with your friends. Good time spent with friends is a better antidote.
- Do all the things you couldn't do when you were in a relationship. Things like running errands for your mom. Doing some tasks for your little brother or sister.
- Accept and appreciate your worth as you deserve good. Dress sharp, going to the gym, visiting a spa and eat the right food.
Stages of heart break Felix Economakis, chartered psychologist and relationship expert in London, says that the end of a relationship has a number of stages that can be similar to those of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then acceptance. Although it's not a steadfast rule, it can be useful to identify which stage you are in. Some people get stuck at different stages. But it's important to let yourself feel each stage � not act upon them � and allow yourself to progress.
Some steps to cope heart break: 1. Recognise that you are going through a very big emotional experience. Be kind to yourself. Take things slowly. Like being sick physically, when your heart's ties are dramatically impacted, it can send us reeling out of balance for a while. This takes patience and gentleness to get through. 2. Accept the pain. Accept that you will have to go through some pain. It is an unavoidable truth that if you loved enough to be heartbroken, you have to experience some suffering. 3. Don't be embarrassed to cry. You've been hurt - expect the tears to keep coming. There are a few people who can't get over heartbreak without shedding tears, so let them flow. If you bottle up your feelings, you'll only end up making yourself feel worse later. 4. Know that heartbreak is intense and feels unbearable and isolating to everybody. You are not alone at all despite how it feels. Hearts are broken and they mend just like yours will. 5. Always think positive. There's a reason why it didn't work out. Think, if they hurt you, are they really worth getting back? 6. Keep busy. Take your dog for a walk, go see your far away relatives, go take a tour of the a tourist place, go shopping. Do things you love that will keep you busy. 7. Rebuild your life. Get engrossed in new things, and try not to look back on the past. The more you move forward, the less it will hurt. 8. Focus on moving on. Focus for a while on your career and family. If you help someone else out, you'll feel good, and have a chance to take your mind off the pain. Keep on going with your day and focus on your work. 9. Talk to a professional. Don't hesitate to see a psychologist if your grief is really destroying your life. They can almost certainly offer further and better advice.
- Don't let your heartbreak stop you from listening to advice. Although you may not believe it now, your friends and family probably have a better view on the matter than you do, because heartbreak makes things look a whole lot worse. Don't deal with it alone.
- Don't eat junk food to help, you might gain weight and that will make you more depressed.
- Don't be driven into drinking or taking illegal substances. You'll just end up destroying your own life because of one tragedy.
- Don't do anything dangerous. Life will go on, and if you are contemplating ending your troubles, it's time to urgently talk to a professional.
- Don't rush into another relationship in an attempt to reduce difficult emotions. It's important to call on people who remind you of your own value and who will be supportive when you feel like you have fallen apart.
- Don't push yourself onto people either, as they may feel being forced to listen to you and feel that they can't really help.
- You're not to blame! It's very easy to get the idea in your head that either you're entirely to blame or that you had no part in it.
- Don't kill yourself with guilt and don't entirely detach yourself from the situation. It's unlikely that anyone is really a monster.
- Follow a routine: you may not feel like getting up and getting on with your life. But it's often the best thing to do. Even if you are just going through the motions of a daily routine, it will give you structure. Work can be particularly helpful in taking your mind off the break up.
- Tell someone: Especially at work, it can be important to be honest and tell a trusted manager if the situation is affecting your concentration. They are likely to be understanding and more likely to be lenient about any lapses in work.
- Give yourself space and time: Healing can take a while, and you must let yourself get over your break up at your own pace.
Ultimately, it's important to look after yourself. Good luck.