Every moment we speak or hear from others, which means that this is a routine and lot will go to our minds to reciprocate to others and to understand our own responses. When a person speaks something, which he later evaluates on different set of criteria, it is sometimes difficult for him to know whether he was appropriate in responding in a particular way or not.
This difficulty also lies with others who have not liked your response for some reason, but do not know what the reason is. This creates sometimes lot of complex behaviour patterns for people and they tend to make bias attitudes as well as unwarranted opinions on the same.
How as a human mind this process can be simplified so that the life can function smoothly and there exists less complexity within mind and behavior along with moving forward on the spiritual journey?
What defines appropriateness in a speech or behaviour?
There are two kinds of situations. One from the perspective of whether you were appropriate in responses and the other one is whether the other person was appropriate in his speech or behaviour.
Lets take the first one. A speech or behaviour is known to be appropriate from the perspective of the person who spoke or behaved, only when the response was out of love and not ego.
For the other scenario where you have to evaluate the speech or behaviour of the other person, there is one spiritual rule to understand that what you do is your responsibility and what others do is their responsibility. First you should not be judging anyone if you are on your spiritual journey, because we do not know what lies as the innate reason for that other person to respond in a certain way.
What is inappropriate for you may be appropriate in his eyes, this is very subjective. Even if you have an opinion about others responses you will just have to accept it because change is not in your hands. In this whole world the only thing that you have control on is you and no one else. It is wise to evaluate yourself and elevate your spiritual journey by correcting yourself. So discussion is only about self and not others here.
What is the right way to deal with process of establishing the appropriateness?
When a person starts understanding that what is coming out of him is out of love or ego, when he is being honest in being able to establish and accept this fact, he is on the right track. This process starts becoming easy for him when he understands his ego patterns. That’s the only simple way to deal with establishing this process within you.
Is it our responsibility to evaluate ourselves? What will I fetch by doing this?
Of course. You are the only one who should be interested in your elevation, spiritually, mentally, emotionally or any which ways for your enhanced living. If you are not, who else will be?
How do u establish something that you do or have done is out of love or ego?
If you as a person has responded to another person in a way which speaks about proving yourself right it is surely out of ego. If you as a person have behaved in a way, which sounds like finding fault with what the other person has done, it is out of ego.
An honest attempt to keep answering questions on “Why did I do what I did?” will be your guide to reach to the milestone of success to make out. Anything and everything which is done to correct others can be done in a suggestion mode which would be considered as coming out of love. An authoritative response to the loved ones can also sometimes be out of love as far as you ensure the other person is okay with you being that way, in that relationship, and not otherwise.
Are we really self introspecting correctly?
How difficult and easy it is to really make out the truth depends on how transparently you want to be a better human being spiritually? Because this exercise is for your elevation so the right evaluation responsibility lies with you.
How do you find out that you have dealt with this procedure correctly?
When you are feeling peaceful from within about the whole event and you do not need any other person’s assurance that you were right chances are that you are doing it correctly. Beware that this is a journey of your elevation; your honesty only will elevate you. If you want to get elevated you must make your decisions on speech or behavior through love.
Even if you feel you did it out of ego the best way is to accept and apologize to the other person that will make you free of that thought immediately.
Your perfect evaluation is important for your elevated life because- “Being able to have an elevated life is an opportunity given only to fortunate species like human beings on this earth.”
The writer is motivational and transformation trainer, life coach and author