Perfect Reasons to Erase the Word SORRY From Your Vocabulary
As I walk into my friend's office, I am greeted with clacking sounds of her fingers dancing ferociously over her computer keyboard keys and see a furrowed brow framing laser-focused eyes staring intently at the screen.
"Hey Priya, um sorry to bother you but...."
I am boarding the crowded Metro train in the middle of rush hour and am carried abroad in a wave of frustrated and harried people. I drop my bag between my feet and reach up and grab the overhead bar to stabilize myself as I begin the long trek home. Another passenger's hand grazes mine. Again, I say sorry.
I started to observe that I say sorry at least 15 times each day- whether I am at fault or not It has become a staple in my Vocabulary.
But why do we do that?
One common theory, which fairly explains my overuse of the word "sorry", is that being perceived as rude is so abhorrent -especially to women-that we need to make ourselves less obtrusive before we speak up. We also quickly use sorry to end a conflict.
Here are some reasons we should think, rethink when, why and how we say sorry and possibly strike it from vocabulary altogether.
1. It devaluates the purpose of an apology
When we say sorry too easily and too frequently or when we apologize for things that are clearly not our fault, not in our control, or otherwise unworthy of apology we completely strip away the meaning and the power of a sincere apology.
The bottom line is never used too much of sorry as it can trivialize the act of apology, making it lose its importance and value. Be careful about crying wolf-save it for when you really need it, and mean it.
2. Saying SORRY frequently is like Devaluing Oneself
Most people equate people with humility. We always think that a prideful person can offend someone and walk away with apologizing. When we say sorry in situations that do not warrant that word. We tell people that they are worth more than we are. It signifies that our low self-esteem is low.
There is nothing wrong with being a confident, self-assured individual that doesn't take responsibility for someone else's mistake. You are a living, breathing being who deserves to be seen as an equal by everyone you encounter Don't devalue yourself. The next time someone runs into you, scrap the apology and instead share an understanding glance. It happens.
3. Sorry will fix solution But would never resolve conflicts
This is especially for those who don't like confrontation and will go to any length just to avoid a scene. We will quickly fling "sorry" at a situation to stifle an argument before it starts. And while this is necessary at times, other times we need a man up or put our big girl panties on and work to actually resolve the conflict.
Saying sorry can also be a way of manipulating a situation. We will use it an effort to avoid addressing a certain topic or having to face undesirable behaviors or attributes. How many times have you heard I'm sorry what else do you need from me? This is the most classic type of apology which made History in human emotions...To fix something without reaching Resolution.
4. SORRY makes you- in fact- SORRY!
A person who is always known for apologizing, especially in weak situations, will quickly be viewed and labeled a sorry individual. It gives people the impression that you are a mistake-prone, incompetent and a sorry individual.
Over-apologizing can actually affect one's self-esteem and self-perception. It's the law of self-fulfilling Prophecy. The more you say sorry the more you believe it and ultimately you BECOME IT!
Try not saying sorry for the next 24 hours
That doesn't mean that not to apologize if you are at a fault. Take responsibility and apologize without using the word sorry.
Here are the few words/phrases that can help you with this Endeavor:
♦ I Regret...
♦ It's Unfortunate
♦ Oh that's sad
♦ Silence that's the best medicine