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For most people, the minute you commit to your partner, not only does your world start revolving around them, but sometimes you tend to lose yourself in love.
For most people, the minute you commit to your partner, not only does your world start revolving around them, but sometimes you tend to lose yourself in love.
This in the beginning is encouraging, however, as time goes by, you realise that you've stopped caring for yourself. To make sure that you do not fall into this trap, here's how you can be independent in your relationship.
Make time for yourself
While it is widely believed that you must do activities together to strengthen your relationship, it does not have to be done all the time. Seema Hingorrany, relationship counsellor says, "Engaging in a few activities on your own, like cleaning the house or going out shopping for grocery is liberating for the soul and will keep your mind off the relationship for a while, which is completely healthy."
Have different set of friends
It's okay to have common friends, but sometimes you would like to have a different group of friends where you can just be yourself and not have someone hovering around. Your friends may also not want your partner to be around with you all the time. They would want to chitchat with you without worrying about it affecting your partner.
Map out your own future plans
Sure, the two of you maybe looking at spending the rest of your lives together. However, you don't have to always do the planning together. Sometimes, there are certain decisions that you must take on your own, without having a partner influence your decisions. Aparupa Bhattacharya, a 24-year-old advertising professional says, "In my previous relationship, I would plan everything with my boyfriend. However, nothing materialised because we kept arguing all the time. That is when I realised the importance of planning on your own, sometimes."
Go solo now and then
You don't have to experience everything with your partner. There are a couple of things that you need to do just on your own. For example, if you have been thinking of going out to a beach destination for a while, go on a solo trip. Hrishita Roychowdhury, a 29-year-old IT professional says, "Experience something on your own and create many memories. These are the memories that will help frame your life and also make you an independent person. There is nothing more liberating than doing something exclusively for yourself."
Here's what you must also keep in mind
- Independence does not mean being stubborn: There are many people who often mistake the idea of being independent with being stubborn. You have to be open to ideas and thoughts so that it strengthens your
relationship.
- Do not neglect your relationship issues: Do not overlook important issues in your relationship. For example, if your partner is going through a tough time at work, spend some time with him and try to talk it out. However, if you realise that he needs some space, let him be on his own for a while without pressurising him.
Meghna Mukherjee
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