A teenager returns home drunk at 3 a.m. from a pub. Another wakes up at noon. One young person is buried in a screen till dawn, not acknowledging even the parents at home. Another yells at his grandparents to stop offering advice. One teen is addicted to alcohol and drugs and has become a menace to society. Another suffers from serious mental health issues and has lost herself completely. One commits suicide after a parental reprimand. Another kills his parents in a fit of rage. This is not a rebellious phase. It is not a generational quirk, and it is far from harmless. This is the outcome of something much deeper, much darker - Reckless Parenting. It is silently dismantling the emotional, cultural, and moral fabric of our society. This callous irresponsibility is not just a family issue anymore, it is a national disaster in slow motion.

A crisis of conscious parenting

Over the years, I have witnessed a sharp decline in conscious and responsible parenting, especially in urban and semi-urban India. Many parents today are either too busy, too distracted, or too indifferent. They outsource their most sacred responsibility to gadgets, schools, or social trends they neither understand nor question. In the process, they are raising a generation that is confused, disconnected, and dangerously disengaged. The consequences are not private, they are public, social, and eventually national. When parents fail, society pays the price.

The collapse of presence

Let us begin with a simple question, how many parents today are truly present in their children’s lives? Not just physically, but emotionally and intellectually. Are they listening to their children? Observing behaviour? Aware of who their children are becoming?

In many households, both parents are working. That is understandable. What is not acceptable is the complete withdrawal from their role as moral and emotional anchors. Screens have replaced stories. Convenience has replaced connection. Children are growing up without real conversations, without value systems, without guidance on ethics or emotional hygiene.

Parenting is not a part-time role. It is a full-time responsibility with lifelong consequences. If parents cannot spare even an hour of focused attention, they are not just neglecting their child, they are inviting future crisis into their own home.

Gadget addiction begins at home

Every second parent complains about screen addiction. But if you observe closely, children are simply mirroring their parents. It is now normal to see families sitting in the same house, isolated in different rooms, each glued to a device. This is not connection, it is emotional isolation.

Children as young as four are handed mobile phones to stay quiet. TVs become babysitters. Tabs are treated as toys. Parents fail to realize that gadgets are not neutral, they come embedded with addictive algorithms, values, and behaviour triggers.

If a parent is swiping through social media all day, what moral authority do they have to lecture a child about screen time? Children

learn more from the eyes than from the ears. Modern parenting has become passive and digitally distracted. The cost is a generation disconnected from human interaction. “Children learn more through eyes than ears.”

When discipline dies, decay begins

Modern parenting often confuses discipline with oppression. In the race to be seen as liberal or progressive, many parents have completely abdicated the responsibility of creating boundaries. They allow late-night parties, casual dating, provocative dressing that lacks cultural grounding, unfiltered media, and even alcohol or drug experimentation — all under the excuse of “freedom”.

This is not parenting, this is negligence in disguise. Freedom without values creates chaos, not character.

“Indulgence is not love. Structure is.”

Discipline is not punishment. It is structure, safety, and sanity. Children crave boundaries. They thrive when they know where the lines are. If those lines are not drawn at home, society will draw them later, but much more harshly.

The disrespect at home

There was a time when looking into someone’s eyes meant respect. Today, many children barely acknowledge the presence of parents, grandparents, or guests. Conversations are cut off, elders are dismissed, and cultural rituals are treated as outdated burdens.

This erosion of respect is not natural. It is a direct result of what is modelled at home. If a child sees a parent being rude to elders, mocking traditions, or shouting in anger, they will internalize that behaviour as acceptable.

“Your child’s moral compass is calibrated at home, not at school.” Respect is taught, lived, and reinforced, not demanded. It must be planted early, nurtured daily, and protected fiercely.

Death of family dialogue

The dinner table, once a sacred space for stories and connection, has become a digital battlefield of silence. No greetings, no conversations, just cutlery clinking and glowing screens.

This emotional silence is deeply damaging. It numbs empathy, shrinks emotional vocabulary, and kills bonding. Without conversation, children do not learn to listen, express, or resolve. They do not learn how to be human.

“Modern parenting must be conscious, not convenient.” Reclaim the dinner table. Make it sacred again. Just 30 minutes of real conversation can change the emotional climate of the family.

The sleep-deprived, goal-deprived generation

Teenagers sleeping at 3 a.m., bingeing on content, and waking up at noon is a new norm. With distorted biological clocks and no clear direction, many young people are sleep-deprived and goal-deprived.

This is not a youth issue, it is a parenting failure. When parents allow children to dictate sleep, diet, exercise, and routine, they are surrendering their leadership. “Careful parenting means enforcing structure without apology.” Success is built on habits. Habits are built at home.

The social cost of dysfunctional homes

What begins at home flows into society. A child who grows up without boundaries becomes an adult who breaks rules. A child who is never held accountable becomes a partner who avoids responsibility, a citizen who disrespects law, and a professional who cannot collaborate.

We are already seeing the cost from teen violence to poor civic behavior, from mental health breakdowns to workplace dysfunction. The home is the foundation of the nation. If it crumbles, everything else follows. “Parenting isn’t a private affair. It’s a public consequence.”

“This generation is like this only” – The great escape

One of the most dangerous lies in modern discourse is this — “This generation is like this only.” It is lazy, false, and damaging. No generation is born disrespectful, distracted, or disinterested. These are not genetic traits. They are parental outcomes.

“Unseen children become unpredictable adults.”

By hiding behind this excuse, parents avoid responsibility. They normalize dysfunction and surrender moral leadership.

Parenting – The first institution of society

Before school, religion, or government, comes the parent. The family is the first institution, and parents are its first leaders. If that institution collapses, all others are weakened. “Parenting is not about being liked, it’s about being right.”

We cannot expect ethical citizens without ethical homes. We cannot expect nation-building without character-building at home. Parenting is the most powerful leadership role one can ever play.

Conclusion: If not parents, then who?

India stands at a crossroads, not just politically or economically, but morally and culturally. The next generation is watching. They are absorbing. They are becoming. And they are becoming what we show them. “If parents are not the architects of the nation’s future, who else will be?”

Let us not be passive spectators to the emotional erosion of our children. Let us rise to the role only we can play — that of mentors, moral compasses, and protectors. Because when parenting fails, no policy or institution can save the society. And when parenting thrives, everything else follows.

(Author is the Chairman for Nation Building Foundation, Expert in Emotional Intelligence, Chief Spokesperson of BJP, and a Harvard Business School certified Strategist.)