Are you over Apologizing for everything? How to overcome this habit
For many people in the world, saying 'I'm sorry' is a huge personal step that can be difficult to accept.
For many people in the world, saying "I'm sorry" is a huge personal step that can be difficult to accept.
Admitting that you are wrong is not always easy.
On the other hand, we all know people who tend to do the opposite - excuse excess. It makes no sense for someone to apologize for something like trying to get the attention of the server, but we hear it all the time.
Some people, especially women, are constantly saying "sorry" for things that are totally out of their control or that do not justify excuses at all.
We probably all apologized apologetically for our appearance, our feelings, the weather or even asking a question.
Now that you're reading this, it's probably a little ridiculous to be so often "sorry". But hey, excuses come to the best of us.
That said, it's a bad habit we should try to shoot down. If you need to be convinced.
Common traits of people who say excuses too much
Although the "sorry syndrome" is a pervasive issue experienced by all kinds of people, some common traits overlap with this trend. In particular:
Compassion People who care a lot about the feelings and preferences of others often find themselves excused for apologizing when they have done nothing wrong.
Submission in relations. People who tend to be too apologetic in a relationship often convey to their partner the message that they feel it is wrong to have their own personal limitations or needs.
The ease If you care a lot about keeping the peace and preventing conflict, you may excuse yourself more than necessary. After all, you'd rather make unnecessary excuses than fight.
Lack of confidence in one's own judgment. When you are never really sure what you are doing or what you are saying is correct, you can quickly apologize and simply assume that you are wrong.
Strict background. Whether you have been raised in a strict school environment or by particularly authoritarian parents, spending your childhood in fear of discipline can make you happy with an apology.
Anxiety. Living with an underlying sense of impending doom can lead you to become hypersensitive to the idea that situations or relationships are deteriorating, which in turn can lead to a disproportionate amount of excuses.
What is the psychology behind "apologizing too much"?
Apologizing too much (or "excessive disorder") can have a wide variety of background explanations.
Some of them are indicated in the personality traits described above. For example, a difficult education, a history of emotional abuse, and a naturally high level of compassion towards others can all lead to constantly being sorry.
However, regardless of the nuances of your personal life, studies show that there is probably a fundamental cause of excessive excuses.
Research at Harvard Business School indicates that we are making unnecessary excuses to create or maintain a climate of trust. This study establishes that we trust more people (even foreigners) if they make unnecessary excuses when they approach us.
So, there is an adaptive reason for the behavior. In fact, less than 10% of participants gave their phone to a stranger when asked to make an unnecessary apology.
However, almost 50% of those surveyed let foreigners borrow their phones if the request was preceded by the comment "I am really sorry for this rain!"
5 ways to stop saying excuses too much
Apologizing can be a powerful tool for building trust and improving social cohesion, it is essential to be able to assert oneself and to consider oneself as having the right to make their way in the world.
If you are constantly apologizing, you send the message to the Universe that you are gentle, undecided, and unworthy.
A useless "desolation" has enormous potential to undermine your power of manifestation. Therefore, it is profitable to reduce. But how can you do that?
Stop Apologizing - Click here to participate in the free 30-second quiz and discover the limiting beliefs that hold you back.
1. Pause before apologizing
Before apologizing, stop and ask yourself the following question: "Have I really made a mistake here?" If the answer is no, do not apologize!
It may be easier to resist envy if you ask the following question: "If I have not done anything wrong here, do I really want people to believe that I believe I did? "
2. Express compassion differently
If you want to share difficult emotions, note that there are other ways to show compassion and empathy.
Instead of constantly excusing yourself in a relationship, say something like "I know it's hard to hear" or "You can always tell me when you're upset."
3. Know your triggers
Do a brief brainstorming and write down 10 things that make you want to apologize. For example, meeting a stranger or asking someone to do something for you.
For each element, think of something you could say instead. Spend a week focusing on a single trial trying to completely eliminate "sorry" from this context.
4. Questions of phrase carefully
You do not have to excuse yourself too much when you need clarification, so do not apologize when you ask for it.
Instead, try questions such as "Could you please say a little more about this for me?
5. Turn your excuses into gratitude
The next time you feel an apology rising in you, think of a way to rephrase it into a statement of gratitude. For example, "I'm sorry you had to do this race" can easily become "I'm so grateful for giving me this service!"
Not only does this appeal to the listener, but it focuses your mind on positivity and abundance. This can help you attract even more positivity.
So now, if this article has highlighted the fact that you hold any of these traits, it's up to you to trade them one by one.
If you suspect or even know that your limiting beliefs are holding you back, I invite you to check out this free 30-second quiz.
In a very strange and phantasmagorical way, it unveils with precision your subconscious limiting belief # 1 which discreetly sabotages your success and abundance in the background.