Healthy boundaries to set in your relationship

Effective boundaries keep your relationship strong and healthy. Boundaries refer to limits that you put in place to protect your well-being. When boundaries are clearly communicated, along with the consequences for breaking them, your partner understands your expectations. In an earlier post I discussed ways to establish healthy boundaries in your relationship. This post identifies some types of boundaries to consider in your couple relationship to keep it running smoothly. In order to establish effective personal boundaries, you have to know yourself, communicate your boundaries to others, and follow through with the consequences.

Expectations

You should always discuss what you expect out of someone, and what you expect to receive.A lot of people enter relationships putting the burden of healing or completing them onto someone else.

None of us, however, are anyone's god, goddess, or totem of completion.We're us, we're real, and we have needs; needs which are easy to overlook by someone else if that someone puts us on a pedestal.A relationship should be a balance of give and take, not take till there's nothing left for someone to give.

Make sure to discuss how far you're willing to go toward being someone's "fulfilment" and how you would like, in turn, to be filled.

Tolerances

Everyone has different physical pain thresholds and same goes for emotional.Let a loved one know there are certain things you will not tolerate: being shouted at, lied to, silenced, or mistrusted – whatever it is, make it known that going past these boundaries is a journey they may not want to take.

Sexual expression

Some people like sex every morning. Some people like it in odd locations. Some do it only on holidays. Some are wild, some slow and sensual.If you and your lover don't know where your sexual boundaries are, one or both of you might spend precious time unhappily faking sexual expression, which is a clear sign of trouble on any relationship's horizon.Let your needs and preferences be known, as well as how much wiggle room for experimentation exists within them.

Financial

Money is generally taken to be poison in matters of the heart, but money is an inescapable part of human interactions whether you're with someone or not.There used to be a huge stigma associated with a division of "romantic" funds, but many married couples now openly maintain separate bank accounts.It isn't an issue of mistrust or an expectancy of a failed relationship; it's a matter of convenience.Discuss your financial boundaries early to avoid sticky entanglements later.

Past lives

Simply put, your past is yours.Many people incorrectly feel that it's their right or duty to split open a lover's past so that everything about the lover is laid bare like parts for examination.Let people know that what you choose to divulge unless non-disclosure presents a direct health risk or is otherwise threatening is at your discretion.Communication is key in any relationship, but a relationship is not a therapist's couch. Unless and until you're comfortable doing so, you're in no way obligated to make yourself an open book.

Family

Relationships often exist within the eyes of Hurricane Familia,which doesn't necessarily mean terrible family interactions, but simply that the needs of both families will constantly swirl around the edges of your relationship.Setting basic boundaries on how much each other's family interaction impacts the relationship will prevent a lot of emergency restoration later.

Friendships

Your lover will never like all of your friends, nor you theirs, but that doesn't stop a lot of people from trying to determine who the other can and can't have as friends.Set mutual boundaries of respect that the other can make reasonable decisions as to who they allow to influence them and, by extension, who they allow to influence the relationship.

(Womenia Desk)