A whole new glossary has been introduced to the dating world in recent years- ghosting, breadcrumbing, and other catchy expressions hinting at communication challenges that come with modern romance. They give an ominous tone, yet, in reality, these conducts are not set in stone; they are merely a part of the evolving dating scene. The goal isn’t to deny them; the focus should be on understanding these phenomena to be more aware and grow into better communicators. Ghosting, breadcrumbing, and other odd new trends are not new at all; they have been a part of romance forever; the only difference is that they now come wrapped in fancy new packaging with these catchy names. Additionally, 2 out of 6 daters claim that these aren’t always conscious either- not everyone breadcrumbs knowingly.

The online dating world opens up a sea of opportunities. Just one tap and people stand the chance of meeting their perfect match- there is excitement and potential for endless options in this accessibility, as much as the chance of disappearing among the crowd. The allure of “endless opportunities” can bring with it a common dilemma, “what if there’s someone better out there?” Ghosting, breadcrumbing, and other such modern phenomena come out of that same feeling of uncertainty- ‘Is this the best?’ But what is considered a challenge is, in disguise, an opportunity to grow and better our communication styles. There’s ultimate clarity at the end of this same uncertainty.

These evasive trends are not as cold and inconsiderate as they seem- for instance, someone might breadcrumb because they are not sure; not everyone is doing so to keep a person on hook, “just in case” there’s use for them later. The idea is to understand that people are not as evil as they are often perceived. Someone with a record of ghosting can also be an individual unsure of their feelings or suffering from commitment issues. The good news is, once these tendencies are identified, in a match or in ourselves, there’s a more reasonable chance of tackling them and, in the end, coming out a better person with a shot at a fulfilling relationship.

If the modern dating trends and patterns have made anything clear, it is that people are hungry for genuine connections, even if, sometimes, they struggle to get there. A few simple modifications in the approach can be a game changer-

Boundaries and Expectations- Set them early; setting your expectations, intentions, and boundaries clearly from the beginning can be a blessing to your communication game. Whether a dater is looking for serious relationships or casual connections, expressing that openly helps both parties understand where they are standing.

Honest Approach- Everyone feels conflicted about certain connections; not all relationships can be ‘love at first sight.’ But communicating the same with honesty can help clear the confusion. 22% of online daters revealed that they all have ghosted someone at one point in their life because they did not know how to let them down gently. But after hitting a certain emotional maturity, they make it a point to be transparent about their feelings- if these daters are no longer interested in investing time in a connection, they respectfully handle it with kind honesty instead of shutting down or running away.

Intentional Matching- Midst these whimsical trends, a positive counter-movement has emerged- daters are now practicing Intentional Matching, where they ditch superficial connections and the number game to make more room to assess a few select profiles and finally interact sincerely with the one most compatible match for a substantial period of time. They are more focused on the sincerity of the connection as long as it lasts than the success of it.

Respond, not react- It’s a fast-paced world where it is easy to react but taking the time to listen and respond can make a vast difference. It can prevent misunderstandings.

Take rejections as an opportunity to grow- The fear of rejection can wreak havoc on a dater’s communication skills. A study by India’s top-rated dating app, QuackQuack, shows that for 3 in 5 people, not seeing rejections as a missed opportunity but as a part of the dating process has helped ease the nerves while interacting with a match.

Modern dating has its quirks, but so does its traditional counterpart. At its core, modern dating offers incredible opportunities to connect, learn from experiences, and grow, and it nudges daters to accept their authentic, unfiltered selves like nothing else does.

(The writer is a Founder & CEO of QuackQuack)