The Punishment for 'No To Sex' was death for Ankita Bhandari

19-year-old Ankita Bhandari's murder is another example of entitlement, anger unchecked and the hatred some men have towards women. The rage of punishing a "NO" heard from a woman, is to be delivered by raping her and sometimes mutilating her. This time again, anger stopped at murder.

Finish her till the temper is not addressed is the reasoning that these psychopaths have. They cannot understand a denial from a woman, who they think is the subjugated gender. She dare not ever bring on the wrath of a man.

The message given out is clear. If you dare defy, be ready to face the consequences.

This also isn't the first time a girl has been killed for refusing to have sex. This happens regularly, in the innumerable open and shut cases, lying for years, waiting for justice. A total of 4,71, 684 original cases and 21,088 appeals have been pending according to the data submitted by the National Legal Services Authority before the Supreme Court.

The BJP expelled leader Vinod Araya's son Pulkit is accused of lusting after her. He wanted to pay her for sex. According to men like these, there is an underlying belief that the girl comes from lower strata, therefore she is not allowed a choice in this matter. So obviously, she cannot deny him, his wish for pleasure. How dare she, Is the trigger.

This entitlement mindset, is that she has been offered cash for sex. This is kindness in the eyes of such misogynistic men. The idea is that she must consider herself lucky and fortunate that he desires her and isn't raping her instead. The boss in turn asked her to comply with the minister's son. When the 19-year-old disagreed, the (male) boss was enraged at her audacity. The unchecked temper of the boss made him violent. The reports are that he allegedly murdered her for the audacity to say "NO".

There is outrage in Uttarakhand where this crime took place, while the first six months of this year, more than 1,100 rape cases have been registered in Delhi. The Delhi Police says that the rise in cases is because of the active registration and the introduction of women-friendly helplines and booths.

Yogita Bhayana, anti-rape activitist who runs Pari, an organisation that aids rape victims said that , "this case has been highlighted by the media there are so many cases which are unheard and that happens because some men overabuse their power in a patriarchal society".

This game played out of the undivided power and the entitlement that men think they deserve, must be seriously addressed as a part of the school syllabus and everyday work ethics. It must be understood that a no means a no.

Women across India have expressed their anger at the news of a 19-year-old girl's life snuffed, only for her refusal to comply. Overall in the captial city, crimes against women increased by 41 per cent in 2021 and the crimes against children increased by 32 per cent as per National commission for women

This distorted reality of inequality that is played out on a regular basis in an environment where women even today are not safe, is not an easy pill to swallow. The government has slogans like "Beti Bachao" but evidently it falls on the deaf ears of misogyny.

The murder of the 19-year-old, also makes us ponder on the inability of a man, who has been conditioned and allowed to view anger and entitlement as signs of his manhood.

Anger starts with the amygdala stimulating the hypothalamus, much like the emotion of fear involved in processing the response. So what is being heard and forming convictions about it, added with the dysfunction in the temporal lobes can lead to anger and violence, which was the case in the death of 19-year-old Ankita Bhandari.

Anger isn't a wrong emotion. It is the basic tenet of a thinking human being when they feel wronged. Anger expressed towards a cause, towards wrongdoing in society is the kind of anger that must be encouraged via writing, art or slogans. Rape is not uncontrollable anger, this is a crime and the person committing it, is a criminal.

Men who yield power often have a fragile ego, which remains a topic less discussed. In this case, it was her denial to please his important customer, that made him resort to allegedly drowning and killing her.

Quoting Kaveri,(name changed) a software engineer working with a large MNC in Bangalore, said "my husband took revenge on me by raping my maid, who ran away to her village after the incident. I feel helpless, as he wants me to quit my work and stay at home. My refusal to do so broke our marriage and in turn the support system that I had in my househelp, who was always there for me. I have filed for divorce and it isn't easy to get this done amicably, as he thinks that our house help was always teasing him with her clothing".