How do your emotions affect sex? 12 Things to Know About Attraction and Arousal

First things: To different people, sex means different things Sex can be the ultimate expression of romantic love and intimacy.

Or a coaster of emotional rollers. Or a softener of tension. Or everything is about procreation. Or it's just a great time.

All these things can be it, and more. Sex to different people means different things. And anything that means to you, either, is not necessarily constant.

At different points in your life, it can mean different things, or even from one day to the next.

And what are you aware of? Everything is perfectly normal.

Your gender has nothing to do with your emotional response to sex despite the stereotypes

Women are at the mercy of their roller-coaster emotions; men are firmly in control of their few emotions. At least that's what we once had believed in popular wisdom. These ideas have deep roots, but people are far more complex than that. Some Trusted Source studies have suggested that women are more expressive about emotions, at least in the U.S. and some countries in Western Europe.

They also suggest that men respond to emotional stressors with the same or greater physiological response. This difference may be due to the influence of the culture we live in. Maybe we've just been acting on acceptable what we've been told. People are less inclined to conform to simple categorizations of gender these days. Whatever your gender, your emotional response to sex is unique to you, whether you express it openly or not.

Some people need an emotional attraction in order to experience the physical attraction. Do you need to feel some level of emotional attraction before you think about sex?

If that sounds like you, surely you're not alone. Perhaps on a spiritual level, you need to connect. Perhaps it's their mind or the fact you're sharing some basic life philosophies.

Maybe when they made you laugh, you felt that first twinge of excitement until you cried. Or it's a case of je ne sais quoi — something that you can't put into words, but when it happens, you know it. You are in search of intimacy. You may begin to feel physical excitement once your feelings are in the zone and you have made an emotional connection. You're just not in sex outside that zone. You are making love. Others find that acting on physical attraction can result in emotional attraction Some people are drawn together physically like magnets. There is a chemical reaction, a hunger, a purely physical desire with another person to become physical. It's a desire. When people's chemistry is right, becoming physical can grow into so much more.

A retrospective review of 2012 found two brain areas tracking the progression from sexual lovemaking. One of them is the insula. It is in the cerebral cortex. The second is the striatum. It is within the forebrain. Interestingly, drug addiction is also associated with the striatum. Love and sexual desire activate various striatum parts. Among the pleasurable things that activate the part of lust are sex and food. The conditioning process — reward and value — activates the part of love. It becomes a bit of a habit as sexual desire is rewarded, which can lead you down the path to love.

As lust feelings begin to turn into love, another striatum area takes over. Others may find that in two completely different vacuums, emotional and physical attraction operates.

People are intricate creatures with many layers. For some of us, the lines between emotional attraction and physical attraction are clearly divided. They don't come together necessarily. You may be attracted to someone emotionally without having the slightest sexual urge.

Or you have a mind-blowing physical attraction for someone who emotionally doesn't really do it for you. Even in long-term relationships, people can alternate between making love and having sex — or forgetting sexual activity altogether — and that's OK. Regardless of your individual outlook, sex and emotion affect the same pathways in the brain.

A 2018 study suggests integral links between endocrine-related sexual, emotional, and reproductive brain processes and, in particular, a horror. Sexual excitement does not happen in a vacuum, but in a context, according to a Tufts University neuroscience blog.

It involves processes of cognition, physiology, and neurology, all of which include and are influenced by emotion. It's making sense. Moreover, during sexual activity, most people experience similar emotions and release.

The rush of hormones involved in sex means that some feelings are relatively common during or immediately after sex. Naturally, no one feels every emotion every time.

Among the more positive ones are euphoria total release relaxation and calm satisfaction Depending on the circumstances, you may have some less than positive emotions, such as vulnerability embarrassment guilt feeling physically or emotionally overwhelmed If you have postcoital dysphoria, you may even feel sad, anxious, or tearful after sex.

It is also worth noting that sexual excitement can turn off parts of the prefrontal cortex We do not always recognize it when it happens to us, but in hindsight it is obvious. It's not science fiction stuff or fantasy stuff. It's a real thing. Sexual excitement can deactivate brain parts that help you think critically and act like a rational human being. Yes, you're actually taking your senses away. To sexual desire, good judgment and reasoning are lost, swept away in the excitement of everything. If you snap back to reality, you may wonder what you thought with a tinge of regret or embarrassment. Hint: It wasn't you. Oxytocin dependency is also something that Oxytocin is a hypothalamus-produced hormone that opens the floodgates when you're having sex.

That oxytocin rush is involved in the sexual part of the body. Emotions such as love, affection, and euphoria can also be boosted. It merits its reputation as the hormone of love. Unfortunately, you can get hooked on the love feeling or outright enthusiasm. Oxytocin keeps you returning for more. Researchers continue to unpack the various variables in the equation of lust, attraction, and attachment The biology of lust, attraction, and attachment is far from simple. Certainly, hormones play a role. In general, testosterone and estrogen drive lust, regardless of gender. And the desire for sex drives lust. Dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin drive attraction. Lust may or may not involve attraction, but a factor is the reward center of the brain. That's why in the early phase of a relationship you get all giddy or feel like you're walking on the air. Attachment is driven by vasopressin and oxytocin. That's what sets the stage for long-term relationships and bonding. There's some hormone overlap, hormone levels are different, and there's a lot more to it than that.

Let's face it:

it's complicated with sex and love. We just skim the surface of what makes people tick. Among us, the scientists continue to delve into the mysteries of our sexual desires and emotions and how they play against each other.

Yet it is quite possible that we will never solve the equation, leaving the imagination with a little something. There are a number of reasons why you might want to compartmentalize sex and emotion if you want to separate sex and emotion.

Exploring your motivation is a good idea so you can deal with any unresolved issues if necessary. There is no right or wrong here in any case. For the rest of your life, you're not locked in one way of being. If you are looking for a casual relationship or a situation of "friends with benefits," here are some suggestions: first of all, be honest with the other person. It is just fair. Talk about what you are willing — and unwilling — to give in return physically and emotionally, along with what you expect. Discuss birth control and safe practices of sex. Work together to establish rules to avoid becoming overly attached or mutually dependent. If one of you starts wanting something more, talk about what you're going to do. Keep in mind that whatever your plan may be, or however careful you may be, you may still have feelings. That's how funny emotions are.

If you want to deepen the relationship between sex and emotion, you may need something to help deepen the bond, despite the hormones and biology of it all.

Here are some ways to get started: don't let physical intimacy turns into an afterthought, something you do as time allows.

Schedule it. Make a date for you.

♦ Give it the highest priority.

♦ Throughout the day, incorporate affectionate touch.

♦ Hold on to your hands

♦ Stroke one arm.

♦ Hug.

♦ Cuddle up.

♦ Give a massage to each other.

♦ Touch need not necessarily lead immediately to sex.

♦ A bit of anticipation is going a long way.

♦ Make contact with your eyes and hold it.

♦ Do this often — if you agree, if you disagree, if you share the joke inside, and if life becomes overwhelming. Let go of your guard.

♦ Be vulnerable emotionally and have access to each other.

♦ Be your own person. Kiss.

♦ Actually, kiss.

♦ And it's about taking your time.

♦ Communicate your feelings. Say "I love you" if you feel that way.

What are you turning on? A long soak in a hot tub, candlelight, sensual music? Take the time to set the stage and get into the mood, whatever it is. Communicate your desires physically.

Take turns to guide you through what you like. Tune in to your senses when things get physical. With every fibre of your being, touch, see, hear, smell, and taste. Really be with this person at the moment who wants to be with you at the moment. Let nothing else be there. And switch off the TV and cell phone together during your time. Let's face it in the bottom line.

If we all felt the same way, the world would be quite boring. There is no right way to feel when it comes to sex and emotions. Simply be yourself.