Rage has many offspring, such as hate, anger, intolerance, insistence, irritation, obsession, sarcasm (taunt), envy, the abuse of authority, impatience, the lack of forgiveness. Generally, it explodes when we want to control another or when our expectations have not been fulfilled.
Hate destroys your concentration and kills the capacity to act with dignity and excellence. You hate by justifying yourself in the other. You had expectations of them, and they have let you down. They have wounded you and broken your heart. You answer this wound with revenge. You want to make them pay for it. You think that way you will do justice. This hate keeps you tied to the person that you hate. Instead of accepting them, forgiving them and letting go of them, you tie yourself to them more (attached), nourishing and increasing the pain and the conflict.
Take a moment to reflect upon the last time that you hated someone. It might be difficult to see that your rage is created by no one but yourself. Although it seems that the behaviour of the other person is responsible for your emotional state, the truth is that hate is your reaction.
Each response that you create might be a conscious choice. You forget that you have the choice because it seems that the hate comes out of your inside in a natural way. In reality, you are allowing yourself to act driven by your automatic pilot, where your subconscious habits, which are based on your beliefs and your perception, influence, shape and control your conscious thoughts and actions. That is the sign of mental and emotional laziness; in that state, your intelligence sleeps and it is impossible to think with clarity and take precise decisions.
It is said, “It is impossible to get angry and to laugh at the same time,” Rage and laughter cannot exist side by side and you have the sufficient power to choose either of the two. Each time that you choose to get angry due to the behaviour of another person, you are depriving them of their right to be what they choose.
When I start seeing the person who has committed some negative action which is projected towards me, with an innocent, unbiased, untarnished vision, hatred will be transformed into love and compassion for both, me and the other person. Then it will be possible to be totally free of all judgment, criticism and any desire to seek justice and take pleasure and experience victory when justice is delivered.
Only then will it be possible to rediscover true happiness in life, because as long as there is even the slightest trace of an urge to seek revenge for what someone has done to me, and the desire to experience the false happiness which is experienced when such revenge is delivered; both of which, the happiness and the revenge, are forms of subtle violence; true everlasting and deep peace, contentment and happiness can never be experienced.
BK Amola, Brahma Kumaris