Forgive to be forgiven

We all seek forgiveness when we do something wrong, right? but our stance is quite different when someone seeks forgiveness from us. The reason is we find it hard to let go of what’s happened to us. The ability to forgive others depends on how honest we are with ourselves. We must remember that forgiveness can only occur because we have been given the gift of the ability to make choices. Hence, if we want to forgive someone, no one can stop us, no matter how poorly they may act, because ultimately, it’s our choice to forgive or not to forgive. Most of us regret many things that we have said or done in the past. It’s a fact that we all have acted wrongly, either because of not knowing what is right, or out of fear or misunderstanding. However, with time and knowledge, we realize what is right and begin to make amends. Just by having this desire to change ourselves, we begin the process of forgiving ourselves, which in turn helps us to forgive others. Remember! If we do not learn to forgive, resentment will poison us, and we would end up carrying a double burden: both of the resentful thoughts of others’ injustice and the hidden reality of our own injustice. Hence, the only way to release ourselves from these bitter emotions is to forgive.

The power to forgive comes from compassion, which means we should compassionately and peacefully move forward with what is good, towards what is better. Forgiveness dissolves the compulsive need to prove ourselves right. It melts the hardness of another’s heart. Our forgiveness, at first, may puzzle them. People may even think of us as naive, but eventually, they will appreciate and esteem this supreme act of kindness. To forgive and forget is love in action. But we must first learn to forgive ourselves, as well as others, otherwise, the process of releasing this burden neither begins nor progresses.

Forgiving ourselves means letting go of the past. But it also means not making the same mistakes again and again; not inventing convenient ways to excuse ourselves. Remember!! A person who has hardened his own heart against others cannot feel even God’s forgiveness and compassion. Hence, if we want to be forgiven, then we must be willing to forgive first because the one who forgives first not only proves his justice, but especially proves his love. That is why it is said that ‘A life well lived is your best revenge’. So, instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain the power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty, and kindness around you.

This will make the world a better place to live in. Remember! forgiveness is not about condoning the wrongs or forgetting the pain, but about freeing ourselves from the shackles of bitterness. It allows us to reclaim our peace and joy, fostering a sense of inner strength and resilience. When we forgive, we not only heal ourselves but also contribute to a more compassionate world. So, let’s make forgiveness a daily practice, a gift we give not only to others but also to ourselves.

(Writer is a spiritual educator & popular columnist for publications across India, Nepal & UK. Till Date 8500+ Published Columns have been written by Him)