How to overcome conflicts in your mind

How to overcome conflicts in your mind
Highlights

Life of the man is filled with conflicts and confusions. The cause for conflicts in human life is more due to the lack of understanding of the definition/meaning of the following emotions such as.,

Life of the man is filled with conflicts and confusions. The cause for conflicts in human life is more due to the lack of understanding of the definition/meaning of the following emotions such as.,

1. Anger

2. Care
3. Love and Affection than, the existence of any ‘real’ problem. More often people say, I cared them a lot, but they don’t love me and vice versa.

However true the problem is, the reason for such state is not the emotion or the expectation from it. Every act in our life definitely has an objective and also has an expectation/result/reward, from it. The reward/result/expectation can be either tangible or can be just ‘emotional’.

The real meaning of each emotions are, if understood, one can easily derive happiness instead of sorrow from life, however difficult it may be for everyone of us to manage or control these emotions. Look at the emotion ‘anger’ for example.

Anger is an emotion always relate to the present. Do we get angry for something so spontaneously or when witness it or become victim of it? Anger will have great energy only when its relevance and origin are from the ‘present’.

Some time the ‘past’ also can give birth to the emotion – anger. The emotion ‘anger’ cannot be reserved so strongly for the future by anyone or can be easily excavated from the past.
If we study the emotion ‘care’, then we can understand a different truth. The truth is that the emotion ‘care’ always holds its meaning and relevance more for the future than to the past. Nothing we care if it does not have any ‘futuristic value’.

The ‘care emotion’ exists in human life only because people value and connect their life more to the future than to the past or present, at least in the materialistic sense.

The emotion like ‘affection and love’ also has more futuristic value than the past. Many people often say that they loved someone a lot but unfortunately ‘they’ does not have any gratitude. I loved them a lot is a clear statement referring only to the past.


Even today I love them is referring to the present. But the emotion ‘love’ is pointing its meaning and usefulness more towards future than to the past or present.
Unfortunately, we take the emotion ‘anger’ to the future and ‘love and care’ to the past. When we do so, we only confuse our life and will never make our life simple and enjoyable.

It is not, one should never think about how affectionate and loving they were towards someone in the past. But never expect them to return the same love to you now.

If they do not find you to be relevant to their life/future, naturally they may not able to return their love and affection or care. Instead, they only exhibit anger towards you. They may go towards something that has got futuristic value than archaic value.

Why the displacement of these emotions occurs in human life? The emotion called ‘fear’ only cause the above confusion. The question is whether the fear can be eliminated or even minimized? Both are relatively impossible.

One need not attempts to do also. Once the meaning and direction of the emotions like care, love, affection and anger are understood, the people can carefully calibrate their expectations. When the present/future relevance and significance is not there, none will ever show any emotions and hence expectations from others also, one can easily minimize and manage.

Dr S Ranganathan, ClinRise Derma Pvt., Ltd., Chennai
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