Forgiving others increases productivity

Forgiving others increases productivity

Forgiveness is hard, but living with a grudge is even harder. Keeping grudges bottled up can be very dangerous, and can hurt people in ways you might...

n radhika aacharyaForgiveness is hard, but living with a grudge is even harder. Keeping grudges bottled up can be very dangerous, and can hurt people in ways you might have not imagined

Forgiveness is a gift and it's a virtue of brave. But is it possible to move on and forget those who hurt us? -?Naresh

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi

The act of forgiveness is one of the hardest yet most profound actions a human being can take. Often it requires courage, understanding, compassion and submission. However, to live a truly blissful life, we must learn to forgive unconditionally. Obviously this is easier said than done.

Luskin, a health psychologist from Stanford University, studied about the forgiveness and has repeatedly found that forgiving is good for the body as well as the soul. It can lower blood pressure and heart rate and reduce levels of depression, anxiety, and anger. People who forgive generally have more and better relationships with others, feel happier and more hopeful, and score higher on just about every measure of psychological well-being.

Researchers using functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging tried to see the effects of forgiveness on brain. They asked people to imagine forgiving someone and then observed changes in cerebral blood flow, which signaled the parts of the brain that became more active. They found that several regions "lit up," especially areas that regulate emotional responses, moral judgments, perceptions of physical pain, and decision making.

According to Kathleen Lawler-Row, PhD, a psychology professor at East Carolina University, one of several researchers exploring the relationship between forgiveness and health�physical, emotional, and spiritual, forgiveness go beyond lowering blood pressure and improving sleep.

Thus, we can think of forgiveness as the science of the heart. It is the accomplishment of mastery over a wound. Forgiveness is a process through which an injured person first fights off, then embraces, then conquers a situation that has nearly destroyed him or her.

Forgiveness is considered as the highest form of love that we are capable of giving to others. If this is true it is no wonder that we have such a hard time forgiving someone who has betrayed us and even in forgiving ourselves. Forgiveness concepts are simple, but the execution is hard.

Three essentials of forgiveness: 1. Forgive yourself: For past faults, mistakes and insecurities. 2. Accept your past: We can't change whatever is happened. Simply acknowledge and move on. 3. Choose the path of happiness: We don't need the latest product to make us happy. To live happily, we only need a happy mind that can love and forgive.

Steps to forgive:

  • Realise that the hate you feel toward your adversary does not harm him or her in the way that you want.
  • Understand that the best revenge against your enemies is to live a successful and happy life.
  • Seek for help if needed:
  • Be compassionate with yourself:
  • Learn how to balance trust with wisdom.
  • Forgiveness is not acceptance of wrong behaviour. If you must continue to interact with someone who has wronged you, who has offered a lame apology only to follow it up with more bad behavior, nothing requires you to trust such a person. This person isn't likely to ever be trustworthy -- you must keep a distance. While it's fruitless to get irritated over this person's actions and you should not be his or her willing victim. Acknowledge; move on.
  • Person who wants reconciliation must do his or her part: offer a sincere apology, promise not to repeat the offense (or similar ones), make amends, and give it time. If you see repentance, understand that forgiving the person is a benefit to yourself, not to the offender.
  • Unless those who have harmed us have truly repented of whatever they have done, we need to use wisdom in avoiding them and repeating the hurt. It would be wise to balance forgiveness against the certain knowledge that evil exists, and some people enjoy harming others.


  • Put your best mental energies (perhaps first thing in the morning) into visualizing the new life you want. See yourself - in the future - as free of this pain and suffering.
  • Forgiveness is a choice. When you say, "I can't forgive that person," what you're really saying is, "I'm choosing not to forgive that person." If you say, "I can forgive", you'll find yourself forgiving soon.
  • Sometimes it helps to think of how others have forgiven under incredible circumstances. Ask friends for support and examples to motivate you toward forgiveness.
  • Keep the following quotes in mind if you're finding it hard to generate positive feelings for the person:
  • "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
  • "Those who are the hardest to love, need it the most."
  • "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
  • "Correct and courteous words accompanied by forgiveness are better than charity followed by insulting words."
  • "Be kind, for all you meet, are fighting a great battle."- Philo
  • Forgiveness is hard, but living with a grudge is even harder. Keeping grudges bottled up can be very dangerous, and can hurt people in ways you might have not imagined.
  • True forgiveness is unconditional and not build on any act or request from the offender. The type of forgiveness discussed here is intended to free you from the ineffective rage, depression, and despair that nursing a grievance causes.
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