Mr.X is the title and the grade is Z

Two facts came to my mind after watching this movie. One - The guy is called ‘Mr. X’ and he is visible in blue light, now how sweet is that?

Second - What is the difference between ‘Mr.X’ and ‘Mr.India’? ‘Mr.India’ could be detected by the naked eye in red light area and the ‘Mr.X’ in blue film, sorry, light area! Dear Emraan Hashmi your image is strongest since the angry Vijay happened!

I have special respect for directors who make two hour and odd movie, and can make you look at your watch every five minutes. Waiting for that moment when you can escape the theatre. Today, I add the name of Vikram Bhatt to that hall of fame. ‘Mr.X’ is the title and the grade is Z.

Let me say this that Vikram Bhatt has been in the recent years a capable horror filmmaker of ‘1920’ and ‘1920 Evil Returns’. ‘Raaz’, ‘Raaz 3’ and ‘Haunted’. He has made at least five reasonably good horror movies and let me also mention the first ‘1920’ and the first ‘Raaz’, though heavily inspired from Hollywood, were great value for money. Add the other two likeable pot boilers like ‘Kasoor’ and ‘Gulam’ and you can say that Vikram Bhatt has done some good work in the past. He has also done some real crap work too. In fact, the only good thing about ‘Mr.X’ is the opening credits and the way some male singer has sung “you can call me x” – I will be honest, I got hooked and was tapping foot after a long bloody time in a movie, then came the rapid crash.

‘Mr.X’ belongs very strongly to the crap side of Vikram Bhatt’s bio-data. First ‘Creature’ and now this I guess Vikram Bhatt seriously needs to go on a break and come back charged. I am sure he is made of better capability. He seriously needs to stop writing his movies and look for better writers. ‘Mr.X’ is also a dent on brand Emraan Hashmi, the movie does not have a single steamy scene.

Apparently Mahesh Bhatt was blown away by the special defects, sorry, effects in the movie. Well, let me just add this to his list of glorious quotes where he found ‘CityLights’ to be a movie of ‘Saransh’ quality. You see Mahesh Bhatt no longer directs, he is now into marketing – so I can pardon him his “enthusiasm”. Only post ‘CityLights’ and ‘Mr.X’, I will not put him high in the list of “honesty-speakers”, I would rather place him in the list of “intellectual-confident-bullshitters”. Assuming he finds movies like ‘Mr.X’ value for money and must see.

The plot of the movie is how an investigating officer gets trapped in a high power plot and thanks to the ‘krishan jee’ statue in his pocket, he gets blessed with the capability of disappearing but we can see him in sunlight and blue light – now that is so different from that smasher entertainer of the 80s called ‘Mr.India’, we could see him in red light – and no blue saree dancing in the rain bombshell here in this movie.

The movie has some nice one liners and some typical Bhatt school of thought philosophy dialogues on truth, justice, police, ‘insaniyat’ etc etc. The problem is we have heard this in so many Bhatt movies now that may be chewing on a Crocin might leave a better sweet taste in the mouth.

And why Mahesh Bhatt, Mukesh Bhatt, Vikram Bhatt and all other butts who were pushing for space and thoughts in this movie and other typical Bhatt movie – why does there have to be at least two trade mark scenes of disturbed relations between kids and parents.

The other problem of ‘Mr.X’ is that the Bhatt camp suffers from the arrogance of being great music makers, so, a 125-odd minute movie has five odd songs, all third class, but shoved in whichever hole was available in the screenplay – sorry but that is as polite as I can be about the quality of music in this movie.

I think one of the other reasons Pakistan will never forgive us and continue with terror attacks on us is the fact they lost at least three official wars and the Mahesh Bhatt camp. Veena Mallik, Sara Loren etc are used only and totally as bar girls. Worse am yet to see a Bhatt movie where they were given both the pairs to wear ,most of the times, in most movies either they get the top clothes or bottom clothes .rest is as good as not there. Most of the time they are bar girls cause daddy is apahij, mummy has cancer, bhayya has aids and mama is last stage of malaria patient. Dear Pakistan I understand your anger, but this team Mahesh Bhatt only knows this that great role for a lady means call girl or bar girl.

I digress, but the movie has left my mind go helter-skelter hyper, guess it wants to escape my body.

PS: Emraan Hashmi movie. Rated A. At least two kissing scenes! Yet there were at least 10 toddlers in the theatre. Dear Modern day educated, ready to fight with school management parents. Respect!

- Rahul Deo Bharadwaj

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