Change the lens, change your life
Our thoughts shape our world, and often, negative feelings towards others reflect our own inner dissatisfaction. This powerful piece explores how changing our perspective—starting with how we view ourselves—can lead to more peace, compassion, and meaningful relationships
All of us are born with strong feelings of likes and dislikes. These feelings shape our personality from childhood itself. There is a saying that “a person disliked is a person remembered,” which means that the feelings of dislike that recur in our minds are just a one-sided bad experience on our part. Imagine! How many of us waste time pondering over others’ faults and mistakes? I am sure the majority of us do it to such an extent that it reaches a level where we can’t even sleep at night! The question is, why do we allow ourselves to collapse into such an ultimately unwanted experience? Is it mandatory for us to dislike someone because they are wrong or perhaps because they are of a displeasing disposition? Why can’t we change our perspective in such a way that our inner reaction changes from negative to positive?
If we reflect back over the years, we can easily make out that the periods in which we have been most unhappy with others were the times when we were dissatisfied with ourselves. So, when we are dissatisfied from within, we will be inclined to be dissatisfied with just about everyone and everything, without knowing that this dissatisfaction is directly related to the perspective or vision we hold of ourselves. So, we must first begin by asking ourselves, “What is the perspective I have of myself?” or “How do I see myself in the mirror?” These introspective questions can reveal a lot about our inner state. Modern-day psychologists have proven that people who are unhappy with themselves are often unable to find peace with those around them. It means that they project their inner unhappiness onto others, making relationships and interactions more difficult than they need to be. So, if we are not positive about ourselves, then on what basis can we be positive about others? The only way out of this problem is to ensure that we have a positive vision of ourselves first. Learning to appreciate who we are—our strengths, talents, and positive qualities—creates a ripple effect in our lives. It becomes easier to extend the same kindness and understanding to those around us. Moreover, when we foster a healthy relationship with ourselves, we also develop the emotional strength needed to accept and navigate the imperfections in others without being weighed down by judgment or negativity. So, start by liking yourself first, in order to like others, and develop new and desirable qualities within yourself. This inner work creates a foundation for healthier relationships and a more peaceful life. Remember! dislikes and grudges drain our energy, while positivity and understanding elevate us, giving us the power to approach others with compassion and love. As we focus on cultivating a positive self-view, our interactions with the world will naturally transform. We must remember that our perspective shapes our reality. So, by consciously choosing to view ourselves and others in a positive light, we can create a more harmonious, fulfilling life. The key lies in the ability to see beyond faults and to embrace the goodness that exists in all of us. So, c’mon let’s commit to wearing the ‘right glasses’—ones that allow us to see virtues rather than weaknesses, strengths rather than flaws. It’s time to replace our inner dissatisfaction with inner contentment, paving the way for a more compassionate and peaceful existence.
(Writer is a spiritual educator & popular columnist for publications across India, Nepal & UK. Till Date 8500+ Published Columns have been written by Him)
