We often talk about self-love as if it’s something you squeeze in after everything else is done – a bubble bath on Sunday night, a five-minute meditation app before bed. Nice if you can manage it, but mostly it’s kept as an option. The truth is, loving yourself isn’t optional – it’s survival. Without it, life starts to feel like you’re running on fumes, doing everything for everyone else and leaving nothing for yourself.

Here are five reasons why loving yourself is not a luxury and why it keeps you standing when life gets tough.

1. Your body listens to how you treat it

Think about those weeks when you’ve skipped meals, worked late nights, and barely slept. How did your body react? The headaches, the mood swings, the sudden snapping at someone you care about – it all adds up. Loving yourself sometimes means doing the boring things: drinking enough water, eating something green, and going to bed at a decent hour. They don’t look like grand acts of self-love, but they’re the foundation. Without them, nothing else holds.

2. Saying “no” is a form of survival

Many of us are raised to please. We say yes to favours, to extra work, to things that drain us, just to avoid letting others down; but the cost is heavy. Loving yourself means you start drawing lines. A neighbour asks for something, and you pause before saying yes. Your colleague needs your help with one more project, and you ask what can be dropped from your plate first. It feels uncomfortable at first, but every no is a yes to your own sanity.

3. You cannot pour from an empty cup

This one is cliché for a reason – it’s true. Think of a parent running on no rest. They’re present, but not really present. Or the carer who gives endlessly but ends up sick themselves. If you ignore your own needs, you burn out. Loving yourself ensures you actually have energy, attention, and warmth to give to others. Survival here isn’t just about you – it’s about sustaining the roles you play in people’s lives.

4. The way you talk to yourself shapes your life

Ever noticed how harsh your inner voice can be? “You’re not good enough. You failed again.” Now imagine talking that way to your best friend; you never would. Self-love is survival because it rewires that inner dialogue. You catch yourself mid-criticism and replace it with, “I tried. “I’ll do better next time.” It sounds small, but it keeps you moving forward instead of stuck in shame.

5. Life will throw storms, and self-love is your anchor

Loss, heartbreak, illness, financial struggles – none of us are spared. When those storms come, the only thing you can truly rely on is your relationship with yourself. If you’ve practised self-love, you weather the storm with resilience. You trust that you’re worthy of healing and worthy of joy, even when the world feels heavy.

Self-love isn’t pampering. It’s not selfishness. It’s the way we protect our energy, guard our health, and keep showing up. Without it, survival becomes harder than it needs to be. With it, we don’t just survive – we live.

(The writer is a psychologist, businesswoman, human and social rights activist, and a global advocate women and girls)