From despair to hope: Understanding the trigger and preventing suicides

Sometimes, the most important words we can say to someone are: “I’m here. Tell me what’s happening to you!”

One day Meera was going about her daily tasks and suddenly her eyes landed on Ananya. She seemed to have everything going for her. A bright college student always smiling and talking with her friends, submitted assignments on time, and regularly posted cheerful photographs on social media. Yet, behind those smiles, Meera noticed that something was amiss. It looked like Ananya was struggling from within and so was she struggling with academic pressure, fear of disappointing her parents, and a painful sense of not being good enough. These gradually overwhelmed her and no one knew about it. She began withdrawing from friends, losing sleep, and believing that she was a burden to everyone. Immediately Meera asked Ananya why she had stopped participating in conversations and why she had given away a few of her favourite belongings. Instead of dismissing these changes as moodiness, Meera sat beside her and asked her gently, “You haven’t seemed yourself lately. Are you okay? Do you feel like you can’t go on?”

For the first time in weeks, Ananya cried and admitted how hopeless she had been feeling. Meera listened without judgment and helped her connect with a counsellor.

The counsellor was compassionate towards Ananya and asked if she had been having any suicidal thoughts or ideation.

The counsellor differentiated between suicidal thoughts/ideation and suicide to Ananya clearly.

Suicidal thoughts or ideation may range from wishing not to wake up to thinking about death or dying with or without a plan whereas Suicide refers to the act of intentionally ending one’s life.

Ananya said she is having suicidal thoughts. The counsellor tried probing for the warning signs of suicidal thoughts.

Verbal clues: Talking about wanting to die, feeling hopeless, believing oneself to be a burden, or saying there is no reason to live.

Emotional changes: Persistent sadness, intense anxiety, irritability, shame, emptiness, or feelings of being trapped being a burden to the parents

Behavioural changes: Withdrawing from loved ones, losing interest in usual activities, neglecting responsibilities, increasing substance use, or engaging in self-harm.

Changes in routine: Significant disturbances in sleep or appetite, difficulty concentrating, or a sudden decline in everyday functioning.

Concerning actions: Seeking access to potentially lethal means, giving away things, preparing for death, or saying goodbye in an unusual manner.

The counsellor figured out that most of the warning signs in Ananya because no single sign can predict suicide with certainty. However, several changes occurring together, particularly when they are new or escalating it warrants attention. Even if someone appears cheerful after a period of distress, we cannot assume that their difficulties have disappeared.

Then she probed the risk factors

What could increase vulnerability? Suicidal behaviour rarely has one simple cause. It may emerge from an interaction of psychological, social, and environmental pressures. These can include depression and other mental health difficulties, previous suicide attempts, experiences of abuse or bullying, relationship breakdowns, bereavement, financial difficulties, chronic illness, substance misuse, social isolation, and overwhelming academic or occupational pressure.

For young people, examination stress, parental expectations, peer rejection, cyberbullying, and fear of failure may intensify distress. For adults, relationship conflicts, caregiving burdens, financial uncertainty, and loneliness may contribute.

Risk factors do not make suicide inevitable. They highlight the need to recognise distress early and strengthen support.

After duly assessing Ananya for suicidal ideation, the counsellor spoke with both Meera and Ananya and psych educated them with coping strategies about how to Protect and Prevent suicide.

Protective factors: Building bridges of hope:

Supportive family relationships, trusted friendships, belonging, access to mental health care, effective coping skills, and meaningful goals can protect wellbeing. So can community connection, reasons to live, knowledge of where to seek help, and comfort discussing emotional difficulties.

We cannot remove every hardship, but we can help ensure that no one faces it alone.

Coping strategies: Small steps towards safety and recovery

When pain feels unbearable, have HOPE (Hold On Pain Ends). Practical, compassionate support always helps.

Speak, don’t suppress: Encourage conversations with a trusted person or mental health professional. Asking directly about suicidal thoughts does not plant the idea; it can enable honest communication.

Focus on the next manageable step: Break overwhelming problems into smaller tasks. Someone facing academic pressure might begin by speaking with a teacher.

Regulate emotions: Slow breathing, grounding, gentle movement, journaling, and regular sleep and meals may ease distress. These complement professional care but do not replace urgent help.

Strengthen connection: Regular check-ins, shared activities, and non-judgmental listening can reduce isolation. Sincere presence matters more than perfect words.

Seek professional support early: Suicidal thoughts, repeated self-harm, or severe distress require assessment and care. If someone may act on suicidal thoughts, stay with them if safe, involve a trusted person, reduce access to dangerous means, and seek immediate emergency assistance.

Let us become someone’s Meera

Ananya’s story could belong to a student, parent, colleague, neighbour, elderly person or someone who appears fine. We may not know the extent of another person’s struggle unless we create space for them to speak.

Suicide prevention is not solely the responsibility of mental health professionals. Families, schools, workplaces, and communities all have a role in recognising warning signs, challenging stigma, and making help accessible.

Let us replace judgment with understanding, silence with conversation, and indifference with action. A caring question, patient listener, or timely referral may be the first step towards recovery because every life matters, every cry for help deserves attention, and every person deserves the chance to discover that present pain does not have to define their future.Ananya’s story reminds us of an important truth: we may not always see another person’s pain, but we can learn to recognise it, respond with compassion, and help them find support.

(The writer is a Psychological & Philosophical Counsellor)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The Hans India