Unwind to improve love, relationship

Stress impacts our love relationships more than we are aware of or acknowledge. Part of the problem is that stress is entrenched in our everyday. Stress has become such a normal part of daily life that partners become immune to the symptoms and warning signs.

Ignoring stress only ignites it. Even when a couple tries to ignore stress, like static in the air, it is felt and absorbed. If partners do talk about being stressed, they may not know what to do about it.

Stressed-out couples quarrel and fight more often, withdraw from each other, feel disconnected, sad, frustrated, angry. Ongoing unchecked stress can create bigger problems. Long-term stress can turn to depression and isolation resulting in a frozen and distant relationship.

Recognise stress symptoms

Couples often become so accustomed to unchecked stress that they barely recognize and often overlook the destructive ramifications.

There are two straightforward signs of stress. Firstly one or both partners are snappy, cranky, withdrawn, moody, pouty, teary, ornery, angry, restless, hyper, agitated, overly excited and lastly one or both partners are self-medicating with drugs, alcohol, food, etc.

Approach your partner

If you see signs of stress, ask your partner what's going on in a kind and compassionate way. It could be as simple as, 'Are you having a difficult day, honey? Come sit by me and tell me all about it.'

Listen

Keep in mind that listening is a skill, and one that few people actually do well. It's the same with communicating with your partner.

Comfort first

Many partners forget to console their significant other and instead try to problem solve. Comfort each other first, problem solve second. That's because your partner might be looking for stress relief rather than a nitty-gritty brainstorming session.

Just hugging and gently touching your partner can provide that relief.

Ask your partner what you can do

An important way of supporting your loved one is to ask them flat-out how you can help. You might say, "Is there anything I can do to make your day go smoother?" If your partner isn't sure, notice what might be helpful and do that. It might be anything from doing a few chores to giving them a relaxing back rub.

Consider if there's anything else you can do

Of course you can't ease your partner's stress completely. But you can pay attention to whether they're happy and see how you can help. You can ask yourself, "Am I doing everything within my power to aid in my partner's happiness?" Unchecked stress can sabotage a relationship and lead to dissatisfaction and disconnection.

But there are many ways you can take action to alleviate your own stress and support your partner.