How to deal with loneliness

People feel lonely for a number of reasons, including simple social awkwardness and intentional isolation. Some people may even feel lonely when they are surrounded by people because they lack meaningful connections with those people.[1] Everyone experiences loneliness sometimes, but it is never pleasant. Dealing with loneliness can take many forms, including meeting new people, learning to appreciate your alone time, and reconnecting with your family. Keep reading to learn more about how to deal with loneliness.

Identify the reasons why you feel lonely. In order to make changes that will truly help you, you will need to take some time to figure out why you are feeling lonely.[2] For example, say you assume that you are lonely because you don’t have enough friends and you go out and make more friends. You may still feel lonely after making new friends if your loneliness is the result of having too many friends and a lack of meaningful connections. Consider some of the following questions to help you determine why you are feeling lonely:

When do you feel the most lonely?

Do certain people make you feel more lonely when you are around them?

How long have you been feeling this way?

What does feeling lonely make you want to do?

Start a journal to track your thoughts and feelings. Journaling can help you to understand your feelings of loneliness better and it is also a great way to relieve stress.[3] To get started with journaling, choose a comfortable place and plan to devote about 20 minutes per day to writing. You can start by writing about how you are feeling or what you are thinking, or you can use a prompt. Some prompts you might use include:

“I feel lonely when…”

“I feel lonely because…”

When did you first start feeling lonely? How long have you felt this way?[4]

Practice meditation. Some research has suggested that meditation may ease feelings associated with loneliness and depression.[5] Meditation is also a great way to get more in touch with your feelings of loneliness and start to understand where they come from. Learning to meditate takes time, practice, and guidance, so your best bet is to find a meditation class in your area. If no classes are available in your area, you can also buy CDs that will help you learn how to meditate.[6]

To get started with meditation, find a quiet spot and get comfortable. You can either sit in a chair or on a cushion on the floor with your legs crossed. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing. As you focus on your breathing, try not to get distracted by your thoughts. Just let them happen and pass by.

Without opening your eyes, observe the world around you. Pay attention to how you feel as well. What do you hear? What do you smell? How do you feel? Physically? Emotionally?[7]

Consider talking to a therapist about how you have been feeling. It may be hard to figure out why you feel lonely and how to move past those feelings. A licensed mental health professional can help you to understand and work through your loneliness. Feeling lonely may indicate that you are depressed or that you have another underlying mental health condition. Talking to a therapist can help you understand what is going on and decide on the best course of action.