We, the meddling, muddling Indians

We Indians are endowed with some very special traits which may be called the art and science of meddling and muddling. The Indian instinct for meddling is so overpowering that we must interfere in the most unlikely situations.

This trait has its practical advantages too. Bangladesh was created by its indiscreet deployment of armed forces with the result that Pakistan to which this territory belonged has since become our eternal enemy. When a similar thing was attempted to be done in the case of Sri Lanka a curious sect of army called the Indian Peace-Keeping Force was raised. While even after three decades no peace is in sight, the heavy price that we Indians had to pay was with the assassination of its creator, Rajiv Gandhi.

We love to create conflicts at all levels, in all situations, at all times, because such meddling creates umpteen opportunities to resolve them-a pastime that is India's national hobby. Its range is not merely impressive; it is unparalleled in the world encompassing as it does everything that falls in between the pantry and Parliament.
Politicians are pastmasters in the art and science of this dubious discipline. Meddling is their staple diet and a liberal use of swear words are what they spice it with. Ironically, the more meddlesome a politician, the more respected he/she is. And nobody minds this refreshing "tamasha" during a Lok Sabha or Vidhan Sabha business session. Regardless of the season in which it is held, the unchanging fact is the wholesale entertainment that this national circus offers.

We have a genius, if unenviable, for massive muddling which more often than not produces colourful confusion garnished with irrelevant quotes from our scriptures. When the message gets lost in the muddiness of minds, we confer on it the honorific title of metaphysics, a little short of unintelligible sermons which the TV gurus tirelessly give to half-asleep congregations. As an architect, I admire muddling for its plastic qualities. It can be readily moulded into any shape to pass muster as an ideal worthy of emulation. Our brand of metaphysics is so (full)filling that even those with empty stomachs find it

Wholly hunger-satisfying!
The spirit of the dictum 'practice makes perfect' comes palpably alive when we notice some of our politicians, both in Parliament and Vidhan Sabhas, have mastered all the three into a single, unenviable, dubious virtue called 'menace'. When in power, they are far too busy in scandals and scams to lend an ear to the people who had elected them as their representatives. When they occupy the so-called Opposition benches, they spend their time doing "pranayama" right on the floor of the House.

Only their lung-power is used in calling all sorts of names to those seated on the treasury benches who hardly ever treasure what they hear from across the floor on the other side of the Speaker, who is the only constitutional personage who perforce succeeds in speaking very little, if at all. That precarious position is what must have led a wit to differentiate between Shok Sabha and Lok Sabha: Shok Sabha is where one person speaks and everyone else listens whereas Lok Sabha is a meeting in which everyone speaks and only one person listens — even though our sacrosanct Constitution calls him/her the 'Speaker' of the House!

By: SS Bhatti