Are U Over Possessive?

Relationships are an important part of our lives. They are delicate and need to be handled both sensitively and sensibly. Each one of us is given a garden called life...we fertilise and nourish it with our thoughts and deeds. Love and friendship are the true essence of life, there is no doubt in that, but it can be ruined by an unreasonable approach.

Ever since man began his trek through life, love has been an integral part of his nature. It can enter our lives like a wisp of fresh air but can slip away just as noiselessly. Keeping love alive requires deep understanding and mutual trust. Being possessive about one’s partner is a natural, but over-possessiveness can destroy this tender feeling and partners can drift away....

In today’s modern age, high flying careers, soaring ambitions, peer-pressure, fashion, glamour have an impact on all relationships. People many times may have trouble handling their emotions due to these social pressures. Dr V Nagesh, the Psychologist at Indian Institute of Psychology, Hyderabad, says, “Many people come to me to be counselled on the subject of relationships.

Our society is changing fast and the interaction amongst men and women has increased manifold over the last decade. Many over-possessive partners feel this threatens their relationship with their loved ones or partners. Being over-possessive can destroy a relationship completely. I recently had a case where-in an unmarried soft-ware engineer couple, dating for the past two years came to me for counselling.

The boy is overly-possessive about his girlfriend and drops in to her office at odd hours just to ‘check’. He has instructed her not to talk or even look at any male member. Naturally the girl is feeling suffocated and wants to withdraw from this relationship. A sense of belongingness in any relationship is good, but at the same time mutual trust and respect for each other’s interests is equally important. Everybody needs personal space and one must respect that.”

Love is god’s gift to us and we must cherish it. Arti Ranjan, a BCA graduate student from Bhavans, says, “In my College there have been many instances of over-possessiveness in couples. Most of them led to a split. The feeling of being watched-over all the time can be strangulating, destroying the mutual bond of trust.”

Well, these are real life instances, many plays and movies have also been made about jealousy, and over-possessiveness... Shakespeare has dealt with the emotion beautifully in his play, ‘Othello’ and who can forget the movie ‘Darr’ made on similar feelings. Many young lives have been destroyed by over-possessiveness of a lover. Why only lovers, even married couples depend on faith, trust and space for successful married lives. Over-possessiveness is a negative emotion and must be dealt with, with maturity. Love is for keeps don’t lose it!

By Shaili Dhagat