When Love Turns Violent
Love’ and ‘violence’ are two very different words. While the feeling of love encompasses a warm vibe, just the opposite is experienced when it turns violent. Feeling loved and socially accepted is a primary need of every human being. It is reassuring to any person when he/she connects with the world and when a feeling of “belongingness” is created. But have you ever imagined the consequences of be
Love’ and ‘violence’ are two very different words. While the feeling of love encompasses a warm vibe, just the opposite is experienced when it turns violent. Feeling loved and socially accepted is a primary need of every human being. It is reassuring to any person when he/she connects with the world and when a feeling of “belongingness” is created. But have you ever imagined the consequences of being rejected, isolated and disconnected?
At times, Crime is the consequence!
The recent incident which came as a shock to everyone was the case of Sandhya Rani, who was set ablaze by a stalker in the suburban regions of Hyderabad. This distressing episode occurred because the victim rejected the love proposal put forth by the accused.
According to recent studies, the crime rate against women was reported to be 56.3% throughout India.
“Men turn violent out of a desire to control. ‘If I can’t have you, nobody can' is a common statement we hear from abusive men. And, often, they mean it. I believe men experience rejection as threatening to their social identity. This kind of thought process has to stop”, says Keesari Karthik, a 25-year-old entrepreneur.
Instagram Blogger Pritika Nag says, “Men like that are weak. They can’t take the fact that a woman has enough guts to reject them. Such people don't think before they act. Their fury forces them to such actions. Their ego is bigger than anything in this world.”
In an interview with Geetha Challa, the renowned psychologist revealed, “Gratification of desire is the whole and sole cause for violent behaviours. ‘Only I should win’ is the attitude that people with neurotic tendencies carry. Neurotic personality traits include frustration, anger, envy, fear, anxiety etc. These qualities turn them violent and aggressiveness, therefore gaining authoritative power. In some cases, rejection or any negative charge makes them deviant and impulsive.
‘They don’t think before they act’, expressed the psychologist. She continues, “People with such mindsets also take hasty decisions.” She adds, “Women who are victims of aggression may come to seek professional help, but hesitate to open up or share their fears.”
In the end, it all comes down to self-realization and awareness. Control on ‘self’ in young boys is the essence of all solutions. On the other hand, women need to raise their voices and shield themselves from such extreme and aggressive behaviour. Stay away before things go out of control, and always seek help when you need it.
Trisha Reddy and Vineetha Siddam Setty