Should women tell hubby about extra-marital affair?

Created On: 5 Nov 2014 6:20 PM IST

Should women tell hubby about extra-marital affair?

I am a 26-year woman and I got married last year. Before my marriage, I had an affair with my sister\'s brother-in-law. It all started accidentally. There was no attraction between us to start with. However, we have become intimate with each other.

Question: I am a 26-year woman and I got married last year. Before my marriage, I had an affair with my sister's brother-in-law. It all started accidentally. There was no attraction between us to start with. However, we have become intimate with each other.

This sexual intimacy continued for nearly three years. Then I got married but my husband has not been able to provide the sort of sexual fulfilment that I was getting from my boyfriend. He still keeps on visiting us or I go to his house to have sex on a regular basis.

I keep wondering whether I should tell my husband about this affair or else continue with it discretely.

Answer: Do not lose sight of one unalterable fact. And that is, there is a time and place for everything. If there was more in this affair for you than plain sexual gratification, I am sure you would have sought it out for yourself.

Either you didn't, or you did and it did not work out. And if it did not evolve into anything better then, what is the catalyst this time? Get rid of preconceived notions or biases about the sexual act.

There is no reason why your husband cannot be a better lover than he is now, if only you become a more willing participant. And that is only going to start when you stop making odious comparisons. The day your dalliance comes out in the open, in all probability, there is going to be no sexual fulfilment, no boyfriend, no marriage and no husband. Concentrate on your marital relationship.