Receding is as cosmic as it is human

About 13.5 billion years ago, according to the Big Bang (or Big Bounce as some would like to call it) theory, matter, energy, time and space came into being. The Big Bang theory is the prevailing cosmological model explaining the existence of the observable universe from the earliest known periods through its subsequent large-scale evolution. The Big Bang Theory further states that over time the universe began to cool down sufficiently in order to allow the formation of stars and galaxies.

The astronomers later found evidence of ‘receding’ galaxies, that is galaxies moving away from each other. Not only that, the further away the galaxies are, the more quickly they are receding.

The human condition is characterised by a similar recessionary phenomenon. Most common is physical recession. The members of a joint family set up their own establishments. The children move away from their parents to college or, later, to take up jobs. Similarly, during childhood the children form groups – play groups, study groups or whatever – in their residential colonies and schools. These also break up as they move on in life.

Adults, too, form clusters in residential colonies and work places for various purposes, but they too tend to fade away as they move location or change job. Initially, there is an attempt to ‘keep in touch’; but as the burden of new ‘contacts’ increases, old ones fade off. I can recollect how close I used to be with many persons at various places I was posted to or lived in; but now I don’t even know whether they are alive or dead. Occasionally, an obituary reference revives good old memories of the beautiful time spent together and a tear or two roll down in memoriam. Most painful is the separation from the spouse after binary existence of several decades. The survivor wanders aimlessly as an asteroid. Old age and infirmities, too, make one inadvertently cut ties. It appears to be a big effort to get in touch even with old friends living some distance away. The parties and annual get-togethers one used to organise to meet friends and relatives appear to be a big hassle. Attending events and functions, and visits to clubs and restaurants, too, become fewer and far between like receding galaxies moving away from each other at a faster pace. Fading memory, too, is like receding galaxies. The dates of birth and wedding anniversaries of near and dear ones are often forgotten.

Many of my colleagues and friends, who had successful careers, find themselves helpless now. They could give fluent dictation to their steno but are now technologically challenged and unable to send an email by themselves to keep in touch.

Emotional recessions are largely about changing relationships. A close buddy gets a girl friend or gets married and may not have much time for you. Relationships also get toxic for various reasons, real or perceived, and create recession over time. Marriages sometimes end up in divorces like failed stars or explode as supernova sucking a lot of persons into them like black holes.

The recession can also be interpreted in terms of stages of life. At the age of about 60, one recedes from the workplace. Howsoever successful or powerful one may have been during the career, he or she returns to becoming an ordinary person. After the farewell party, the workplace gradually shuns him.

At 70, the recession from society steadily begins. The friends and colleagues who used to meet and socialise become fewer and some of them even fail to recognise the person. Often he has to reintroduce himself.

At the age of 80/90, recession from the family slowly begins. Even if he/she has many children and grandchildren, most of the time they are living separately and are busy with their own lives. After 90 the earth wants to eliminate the person. That is the way of life and everyone eventually follow this path into the unknown and unobservable universe.

Be it work place or society or the family circle, all recede with the passage of time. Fortunately, the only thing that doesn’t eliminate a person is his close knit inner circle. One needs to hold on to its members, whoever is still around as long as possible till he himself finally recedes.

(Writer is a retired IAS officer, served as Secretary-General, Rajya Sabha)