Being assertive an innate skill

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Representational Image


The first step toward becoming more assertive is nurturing our own perspective as a person. Assertive people are self-made, balanced, and resistant to stress.

The first step toward becoming more assertive is nurturing our own perspective as a person. Assertive people are self-made, balanced, and resistant to stress. Managing relationships and being assertive can be a challenge. Building bonds, standing your ground, and going with the flow is a herculean effort.

Being assertive is an innate skill. Assertiveness is being expressive and having a stand-alone approach with our own perspective with a mutual respect for others. We boost our morale with high end self-esteem and command respect. For some, it's natural to be assertive, for others it's a long learning exercise by being aware of others' rights. Assertive communication is direct.

Most times in negative situations, we go around with a yes for everything. It's always good to focus on the issue at hand and be vocal by taking a stand. Being negative may not get what you want, it may bring down on one's trust and respect. With passive behaviour we are building stress, resentment, anger, being victims of our acts with hatred, revenge and disharmony. Adopting assertiveness is being wholesome with healthier communications and relationships.


• Interpersonal Communication

• Building rapport

• Staying strong

• Knowing rights

• Practice

• Good Planning

• Pep talk

• Knowing your worth

• Confident

• Respect others

Communication styles and patterns differ from person to person. A change can happen when communication is more enduring, connected and delightful. A few ways to adopt for a more assertive you: Assesses sing our style may do wonders. Do we say yes to all, are we people pleasers, do we play the blame game, do people enjoy talking to you, self-analysis of our own style for corrective measures. Use of I am the most commonly used. When everything is centred on I, we lose sheen. Practice saying no is good to turn down requests. Good role-play helps in building healthy relationships, and with a balanced set of emotions. All of us need a bit of direction to be assertive which takes time and practice to drive away passivity. With assertiveness comes confidence and an innate drive to express vocally.

As it is rightfully said, we don't get what we want most times, we have to go and get it. If one wants to taste success, the way ahead to taste it is by being assertive. Being assertive means, you know how to communicate what you want in a clear and respectful manner. It means you are vocal, and you highly value expressing yourself in authentic and powerful ways. When you are effectively assertive, you are neither aggressive nor passive instead you are honest, direct, and skilled at articulating your views.

Being assertive in goals, career, and life in general calls for a mindful approach. The duty we owe ourselves is greater than that we owe others. When we are passive, people decide for us, with aggressiveness we decide on others, being assertive is to decide for ourselves. And to trust the process therein is being wholesome. With assertiveness comes self-respect, uniqueness, being authentic with healthy relationships. Assertiveness makes us strong, independent and bold. It enhances our level of self-esteem and personality. There are always times when one's assertiveness is tested and that is when being full of courage matters. Assertiveness is not what you do, it's who you are. It's a unique way of creating yourself. As it is rightfully said, nobody can make us feel inferior without our consent.

Benefits of being assertive

• Self-confidence and self-esteem

• Understand feelings

• Command respect

• Enhanced communication

• Good decision making

• Healthy bonds

• Win-win

When you are assertive, there's a sense of balance between the extremes of passivity or aggressiveness. Being calm and composed will work well and drawing a finer line will hold one in good stead. Assertiveness is a skill which fine tunes an individual to build up his confidence levels. Looking at the perspectives, being respectful, speaking in a way that doesn't make a person feel guilty is the true essence of practicing assertiveness. Assertiveness calls for innate understanding of our own selves with an inbuilt coherent value system.

Asserting rights should be a priority to drive away all negations. Some mindful measures which can be implemented are to take stock of actions and behaviour. One can just be themselves, with no explanation. A change in perspective calls for a more humane approach with responsibility for wrong doings. One can choose to be judgemental if need be. We don't have to know it all, with a right attitude and saying no if it doesn't suit your way. Let's shun and eschew the disrespectful; else you are being disrespectful to yourself. To be taught to speak-up, to create a finer world for themselves. The true meaning of life lies in being assertive and creating a more fulfilling life.

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